Scared about taking that first step? Confused as hell about what you’re doing? Not sure what comes next? Too much bullshit to wade through?
Welcome to your one-stop help desk!
1-800-FIT-NESS is a Facebook community helpline for:
- Those with fitness and nutrition questions
- Those looking for feedback on their progress
- Those with knowledge and expertise to share tips and insights
DYING FOR ACCESS, AIN’T YA?
All you have to do is sign away your soul join the mailing list. Not only will you get into the group, but you’ll also receive the weekly newsletter and a FREE e-book.
OBEY IS NOT JUST A CLOTHING COMPANY, DAMMIT!
This group is NOT a democracy. It’s an authoritarian regime. It’s tyranny at its finest, and I’m Stalin, Chairman Mao and Suge Knight all rolled up into one. By becoming a member of this group, you are agreeing to the rules listed below, which will be enforced AT ALL TIMES and are in place to provide you with a community environment. See, I even rationalize my Draconian laws as being for your protection like a true to life despot!
1. NO PROMOTING YOURSELF
Abso-fucking-lutely no posting of gym selfies or other pics of you. Keep that shit on your Facebook page, Instagram feed, Snapchat account, the other 20 billion social media networks that serve as a shrine to your narcissism.
And abso-fucking-lutely no links to your OWN website, blog posts, products, services, courses, events, anything else I may determine that falls under the rubric of self-promotion, UNLESS IT’S DIRECTLY RELATED TO A PARTICULAR QUESTION OR CONVERSATION.
We all have to eat, and I respect the hustle. But don’t you dare try to sell your coffee in my coffee shop.
2. NO MOVING IN THE SHADOWS
Provide value, and if people want to fuck with you they’ll seek you out on their own accord.
Do not leave comments or anything of the sort asking people to message you to find out more about what you offer and how you can help them.
If what you have to do in the dark can’t be done in the light, then you best not do it!
3. BE PRESENT
Ask questions. Give answers. Don’t be a lurker. No one likes lurkers. Matter of fact, no one likes takers either — people who only show up to post their content, get an answer to a problem, whatever, and then promptly leave without providing any value to others.
4. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
We’re all adults here. Cursing is allowed, as is dickheadedness.
The one thing I’ve learned in life is that people will excuse crass behavior as charming so long as it’s done real classy like with creativity and humor. Oh yeah, it doesn’t hurt either if what you have to say is actually informative.
So being a raging cunt is your true personality? You’re very much invited to be yourself. Just keep it classy, creative and humorous. Oh yeah, and helpful. No need to troll or descend to the playground and make personal attacks.
5. LEAVE ME ALONE
DO NOT message me through Facebook.
Email me at [email protected] if you have a question about why your post was deleted, if the content of your post is okay, why you became a victim of the ban hammer, or anything else related to this group.
Expect a reply to your email in 3-5 business days, if not sooner.
CAN’T GET JIGGY WITH ALL OF THESE RULES?
No problem! Kindly see your way out. Dueces!
NOT SCARED OFF?
Then what the fuck are you waiting for?! Sign up for access!!!
These rules are subject to change without notice.