Calisthenics

Calisthenics: a strength training methodology involving the use of body weight that’s championed by 140-160 lbs douchebags who think they’re God’s gift to fitness because they have the Herculean strength to lift their 140-160 lbs bodies.

Wanna put on some serious size and become brutally strong?

I bet you think you need to waste money on a gym membership or on buying your own fancy equipment in order to work out from home and further limit interaction with other human beings.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

My friend, calisthenics are all you need.

Just your body weight, you ask?

Yup!

Burpees, pushups, pull ups, pistol squats, and all sorts of body weight exercises are going to get you jacked!

Or at least that’s what cultists from the body weight movement will have you believe. Continue reading Calisthenics

Put Your Weights Away!!!

Re-rack your MFKN weights! Same goes for vagina havers, too!

Who’s more likely not to put their weights away after using them?

The HYOOGE guy who was just doing squats with every fucking plate in the gym on the barbell or the fit chick doing some sexually suggestive exercise with one one-thousandth of the weight who then gets offended at you ogling her and giving her the attention she was dying for?

I bet you’ll say the former.

That’s what most people think.

And you would be wrong! Continue reading Put Your Weights Away!!!

Rest Day

Rest Day: a day on which one doesn’t work out but instead spends the day’s entirety thinking about working out and not knowing what to do with themselves because the gym is life and outside of it they don’t have one.

Hmmmmmmmmmm…

If lifting weights with regularity makes you bigger and stronger, then lifting weights with even greater regularity will make you bigger and stronger much faster!

So since lifting every waking second of every day is kinda, let’s say, crazy, how about just lifting every flipping day without ever taking a break!

Hello, muscle!!!

Right?!

Right?!?! Continue reading Rest Day