Sizing Up Metabolism: The Effect Of Height On Calorie Burn

Damn, it’s already time for some more DYK?

Insatiable, aren’t we?!?!

It’s good for you that I like slinging this DYK as much as you apparently like receiving it!


As we know from reading my brilliant article about what the metabolism is, our basal metabolic rate (BMR) is a measure of how much energy the body needs to perform its basic metabolic functions and processes. Easier said, BMR is the amount of calories needed to keep you alive were you in a coma from watching the latest entry in the Alien series (like, really, how awful has that franchise become!!!).

As we know from reading that article about what the metabolism is, taller people have a higher BMR than shorter people of the same weight.

And as we know from reading that article about what the metabolism is, larger individuals burn more calories than not so large individuals because they have more skin surface area, meaning they have more cells that need energy. And energy is what, folks? Yup, calories from food that the body burns as fuel!

You already know all this though because you read that article about what the metabolism is.

But did you know that while tall people burn more calories by simply existing as tall people, short people of equal weight burn more calories while actually doing stuff, like walking?

That’s right!

Moving the identical amount of body mass across an identical distance will result in differing expenditures of energy.

Care to know why?

Of course you do!

In a study published in the Journal of Experimental Biology, the pencil-neck dweeb Peter Weyand of Southern Methodist University and his fellow pencil-neck colleagues found that while everyone burns almost the same amount of calories per step regardless of height, walking has a higher energetic cost for short people than tall people because they require more steps to cover the same ground because of their short, stubby legs.

Yup, when going from the same point A to point B, pocket-sized folks have to take more steps than their altitudinous brethren, which results in those short fucks using more energy, or burning more calories, than their towering counterparts.

And who said being vertically-challenged doesn’t have its benefits?!

As if that weren’t enough, lifting weights and packing on muscle is easier for short people because their smaller limbs means that they have to bench press, squat, curl, whatever, a much shorter distance than tall lifters.

As if that weren’t enough, 5 lbs of muscle is much more noticeable on a short person than someone who’s a few inches taller. That person would have to gain about double that amount of weight, which would require them having to eat more food and spend more time and energy in the gym.

Damn, who knew being short had so many advantages!

So I guess you know what to do the next time someone tells you to be the bigger person, right?

Yup, tell them to shove it!

How tall are you?
And don’t lie, you insecure motherfucker!

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