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Oh… Now I Get It!

Oh… Now I Get It!

A lot of people are stuck at home all day because there’s a fucking pandemic going on.

As a so-called “fitfluencer”, now’s a perfect time to show your followers how to get an effective workout with whatever’s around and avoid the trap of eating mindlessly just because food’s around the house.

Yeah, now’s a perfect time to do that instead of, I don’t know, eating like a pig, no longer working out, and telling your followers that it’s alright to follow suit because they don’t need any more stress in their lives having to deal with the current uncertainty.

As a so-called “fitfluencer”, throwing your hands in the air and having your followers do likewise just doesn’t make sense.

Hmmmmmmmm…

*the light bulb goes on in my head*

Wait, doing that doesn’t make sense until you realize that it makes all the sense in the world because now’s a perfect time to set things up to get yourself fat and out of shape so you can have an epic before and after quarantine transformation, a change you’ll say is owed to a magical diet and exercise program you created, which you’ll sell to your followers with promises of it helping to lose the weight you helped them gain when you told them it was alright to stop giving a fuck and put their goals on hold.

Yeah, now’s a perfect time for that!


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Monster Longe
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