Pineapple Nutrition Facts

Why on earth would you ever eat fucking pineapple?!?!, you ask incredulously.⁣⁣⁣

Good question!⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Pineapple = 🤮⁣⁣⁣

But here’s the thing…

Pineapples are packed with loads of vitamins and minerals but are especially rich in vitamin C and manganese. And what’s so great about those two nutrients in particular?

Well, manganese helps the body form connective tissue (e.g. blood, bone, cartilage, bone marrow, adipose, etc), blood coagulating factors so you don’t bleed to death, and sex hormones that influence your appearance and behavior so misogynists like me can exist. The mineral also plays a role in fat and carbohydrate metabolism, calcium absorption, and blood sugar regulation. Lastly, it’s also important for normal brain and nerve function. As for vitamin C, you can do yourself the favor of reading the nutrition post about yucky oranges to find out everything there is to know about that nutrient, presuming that I ever get around to actually posting it and then coming back here to link to it.⁣

Anyway, in addition to their nutritional value, pineapples are also a good source of antioxidants. And what’s so great about that?, you ask. Nothing great really! Well, nothing great if you don’t want to count that antioxidants may reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and certain cancers due to the ability of these molecules to prevent or delay some types of cell damage by fighting off oxidative stress.

Another benefit of pineapples is their bromelain content. Several studies have found that this enzyme group can reduce inflammation in damaged muscles, thereby speeding the recovery process after a strenuous workout.

As if that weren’t enough goodies, as a bonus for the fellas, regular consumption of pineapples can sweeten up the smell and taste of your ejaculate so your partner doesn’t act like they’re getting splashed by acid every time your love fluids runneth over on them.

Yeah, I know, pineapple sounds mighty, mighty tasty right about now!

Pineapple Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1 cup, chunks (165g)

Glossary: adipose, dietary fat, hormones, metabolism, muscle, workout

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

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