All that eating out you’re doing is fucking you up in a major way.
Get your head out of the gutter, you!
I’m talking about fast food and weight gain, NOT oral sex and those bumps around your mouth (…but seriously, I’d do something about them if I were you)!
Anyway, that’s why you should cook your own food.
That way you can control how much fat, sugar and sodium you’re consuming.
Yeah, all the good stuff that makes food enjoyable!
Well, it doesn’t have to be like that.
For instance, instead of grabbing the salt shaker and going all Ying Yang Twins by shaking it like…hmmmmm…a salt shaker, you can season your food with herbs and spices and other flavor enhancers like lemon peel and citrus juice.
Now, say thanks.
Thanks for what?
Thanks for reducing your sodium intake and saving your ass from high blood pressure, you fucking ingrate!