We Shall Overcome: Breaking Through A Fat Loss Plateau

It’s been 2-3 weeks of you stepping on the scale and that motherfucker not budging, even when you step off and immediately step back on it again!

But because you read the brilliant shit on this site, you know that the scale isn’t the best indicator of progress.

Nope!

That distinction belongs to circumference measurements and your camera phone.

And the tape measure and scantily clad photos that your attention-whoring ass posts on social media under the guise of progress photos aren’t showing any change either.

What the fuck?!?!

It was only a few weeks ago that fat was dripping off your body.

Dripping off like chocolate soft serve ice cream with sprinkles on a waffle cone on a warm summer day, which I have no idea why you’re craving for all of a sudden.

But now, nothing!

Everything has come to a screeching halt.

Before your quitter instincts kick in and you do your usual throwing in the towel routine out of sheer frustration, let me tell you that what you’re experiencing is a fat loss plateau and it’s very common among losers such as yourself.

Now knowing that, if you would like to use this as the perfect opportunity to stop doing this eat right and move around bullshit, then be my guest.

But if you care to see what you started all the way through for quite possibly the first time in your quitting ass life, then read on for several things you can do to help you break through a fat loss plateau. Continue reading We Shall Overcome: Breaking Through A Fat Loss Plateau

This Is Why You’re Broke

DYK!

DYK!!

DYK!!!

That’s all that’s on your mind when it comes to me.

<arms crossed>It’s almost like you think that’s all I have to offer.</arms crossed>

Well, I’ll have you know that you’re absolutely right!!!

All I have is this DYK, and I’m damn proud of it.

So let’s get to it then!

*ahem*

There’s a damn good reason why you’re broke.

And it’s because you’re a mess.

Multiple studies have found that overweight people make less money than their average-weight counterparts, with a review of the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth data suggesting that obesity lowers a woman’s earnings by 4.5 percent and a man’s by as much as 2.3 percent.

Overweight employees just aren’t attractive enough to sexually harass, leaving them unable to sleep their way up the ladder like everyone else.

Like, what self-respecting boss or higher-up is going to proposition a mess and demand them to trade sexual favors for career advancement?!?!

I know I wouldn’t!

It turns out that others won’t either. Continue reading This Is Why You’re Broke

Fasted Cardio: The Pros And (Shitload Of) Cons

Wanna melt the fat off? Better do fasted cardio like everyone else in creation is doing. Should you be doing it, too? Decide for yourself after reading what the benefits of fasted cardio are and overwhelmingly aren't.

Your friend, family member, coworker, stranger you follow on social media who you place more trust in than you fucking should, is probably doing fasted cardio and telling you about all the great results they’re getting.

So you’re probably thinking about doing fasted cardio because, fuck, if a shitload of people are doing something then it must be something you have to do too.

Why?

Because it has to be a good thing or else so many people wouldn’t be doing it…like investing money with Bernie Madoff.

Talk about a sure thing!

Yup, it has to be good if everybody and their mom is doing it!

Is fasted cardio among the many, many things the masses have been right about?

Hmmmmmmm… Continue reading Fasted Cardio: The Pros And (Shitload Of) Cons

Legging It Out: The Low Down On Lower Body Training

Working out the legs has many benefits that you should find out about. Benefits? Yup, I'm not shitting you. Honest!

It breaks whatever’s left of my wee wittle heart that people don’t love leg day to the moon and back.

I’m truly saddened by our living in a world where there are people who don’t love leg day enough to call it “bae” and other idiotic pet names; that don’t love leg day enough to write love letters to it; or that don’t love leg day enough to have put a ring on it yet.

I mean, how can you not love leg day with every fiber of your being?

Speaking of fibers, when other than leg day can you feel every muscle fiber begging and pleading for you to stop? But unless you’re a pussy, you don’t. Instead, you keep challenging your testicular fortitude (or, because I’m not a sexist jerk, ovarian stick-to-itiveness).

Oh leg day, how I adore thee!!!

…but I’m the exception, not the norm.

Go to virtually any gym and what do you see?

Nothing but leg day skipping gym brahs with light bulb physiques.

Light bulb physiques?

Yeah, they’re big up top and have nothing on the bottom.

Light bulb physiques!

What gives?

Well, you’ve come to the right place.

I’m going to break down why people skip leg day and outline a few of the benefits of working out the legs, if there are any besides just getting sadistic joy out of harming yourself like autoerotic asphyxiation. Continue reading Legging It Out: The Low Down On Lower Body Training