Why on earth would you ever drink water?!?!, you ask incredulously.
After all, water is as tasteless as the people you keep finding yourself in romantic relationships with.
Water = 🤮
But here’s the thing… Continue reading Water Nutrition Facts
Why on earth would you ever eat a fucking pear?!?!, you ask incredulously.
Pears = 🤮
But here’s the thing… Continue reading Pear Nutrition Facts
Trust me, I know.
After sitting down to binge at the dinner table, it’s tempting to sit down and binge-watch the latest overhyped series on the latest overhyped streaming service.
As much as you may want to, DON’T!!!1Something else you definitely shouldn’t do is trust me on knowing anything about what it feels like to want to do what I just told you not to do, but that’s besides the point!
Rather than sitting down in continuance of a long day of sitting down and doing nothing, what you should do after you eat is go for a walk for at least 10 minutes.
Why? Continue reading Why You Should Walk After Eating
Do you feel like no one takes you seriously at the gym?
If you’re not getting the respect you deserve from fellow gym members as one of the most serious people at the gym, nobody can change that but you. How you can go about that is by doing what serious people do when working out. Toward that end, implement any one of the following suggestions and double down on those you already do.
Yup, do that and my fingers are definitely not crossed that you’ll be well on your way to everyone regarding you as the most serious member of your gym!
(1). Work out in a tank top, stringer, or some other very revealing garment that shows off muscles you don’t have.
(2). Wear a weightlifting belt for every single set of every single exercise.1Oh, and be sure to keep it on even during rest breaks!
(3). Lift in expensive over-the-ear headphones that are too big for your head and you constantly have to stop your set to readjust so they don’t fall off and break.
(4). Perform every exercise with so much weight that your range of motion is only a few centimeters, if even that much.2 Even better, slam the weight on the stack between reps when using a machine or cable pulley. On the off chance that you’re using dumbbells or a barbell, which should be rare, be sure to throw the weight to the ground at the end of every set even if it can be lowered otherwise. Regardless, after using any type of equipment and barely moving the weight, be sure to stand up and walk around with your chest puffed out!
(5). Grunt loudly no matter the exercise or how light the weight is.
(6). Work out in lifting gloves.3Even better, walk to the gym from your car with them already on!
(7). Work out in a hoodie no matter the temperature.4 Even better, make sure it’s a hoodie tank top combo whose existence makes logical sense.
(8). Have someone spot you on a lift with an amount of weight you have no business using and shout out “It’s all you!” during the set.5This situation also meets the criteria for you to stand up and walk around with your chest puffed out, so remember to do that too!
(9). Tie your hair into a bun.6This is only if you’re a dude, and even more so if you’re an American dude and not a European one where that pansiness would be expected!
(10). Carry a gallon jug of Kool-Aid colored/BCAAs water to show that you’re not only about that hydration life but also wasting-your-money-on-bullshit-supplements life, too.
(*). Hire a personal trainer who you talk to for most of the session and on the very rare occasion that you actually do work out, it’s doing dumb shit, like pistol squats on a Bosu ball while juggling weight plates with a dumbbell clenched between your teeth.7This is a free bonus tip!
Glossary: barbell, chest, dumbbell, exercise, gym, gym member, lifting belt, lifting gloves, muscle, personal trainer, supplement, work out
Are you a cheater?
Like, do your elbows move instead of staying stationary by your side when you do standing barbell curls or seated and standing dumbbell curls? If your elbows travel forward past your torso during those biceps movements, then you’re rocking your body to move the weight or getting assistance from your front delts. Either way, you’re a cheater.1You’re also a cheater because, you know, you’re not faithful to the person you’re in a relationship with!
When you cheat in the manner described, your arms get robbed of the benefit of traditional curls. The solution is to correct your form and possibly use less weight, as trying to lift too much itself may be the reason for the improper technique. Another remedy is the preacher curl, which is so named for the preacher bench it’s performed on, which in turn has to do with the resemblance to the slanted pulpit that preachers deliver their sermon from.
In its simplest description, the preacher bench consists of an angled pad that you rest your upper body on while the rest of the body is immobilized behind it. While it’s still possible to cheat with preacher curls like any other exercise, the design of the preacher bench increases the difficulty in two ways. The first is that the fixed position of the arms makes it hard for the shoulders to provide a lot of mechanical assistance. Second, the ability to use your lower body to generate momentum is minimized, though possible. Given these two elements, it takes real deliberate intention to cheat on preacher curls.
As we see, the setup of preacher curls limits cheating. Apart from that, another benefit of the way the bench is constructed is that with the stability provided by the pad, you’re able to control the eccentric portion of the lift, which places the biceps under constant tension and creates a lot of muscle damage, thus increasing the potential for greater biceps growth. Taken as a whole, all of these things make preacher curls perfect for isolating the biceps and are why the exercise should be included in your arm training program. Continue reading How To: Preacher Curl
