The Benefits Of Eating Chicken
You should be stuffing a lot more cock meat down your throat than you currently are.
Why?
Well, let’s run down the benefits of eating chicken…
You should eat chicken because it’s inexpensive, something that makes all the difference in the world to a broke person like you.1Trust me, I’m not throwing shade here. I get it, you fell for the bullshit about the importance of a college education and now your future descendants will be paying off your student loan debt long after you’re dead and the bachelor’s degree you got out of eight years of school was only enough to qualify you to wait on my table and pretend to be nice to me so you can receive a tip from me to help your employer subsidize your pay. So yeah, money’s tight!
…and because chicken is easy to prepare and can be cooked in an infinite number of ways.2You? You should disregard this reason to eat chicken and instead move on to the next one. Why? Ummmm…because your culinary skills are quite limited so you can’t cook it in that many ways, let alone prepare it in the most basic way possible without making it inedible. Ahhhhh, now you see!
…and because chicken is delicious!3Well, it is when it’s prepared by someone other than you.
…and because, say it with me now, FUCK VEGANS!4Nah, go back and say it again but with your chest this time. Put some umph into it!!!
…and because cows, pigs, and other livestock will be eternally grateful to you!
That’s why you should eat chicken!!!
Oh, and you should also eat chicken because it’s full of essential nutrients that your body needs while carrying fewer of the unhealthy nutrients that other meats have.5That’s protein and saturated fat, respectively. The high protein count helps to build muscle and the low fat content (especially when the skin is removed) reduces the risk of heart disease, making chicken perfect for anyone who gives a fuck about their health and, most importantly, their appearance.
Table 1: Nutrient Composition of Chicken
|
|
PROTEIN |
FAT |
CALORIES |
|
Breast |
26.1 | 1.4 | 124 |
|
(*) |
23.6 | 10.5 | 194 |
|
Thigh |
22.2 | 4.4 | 134 |
|
(*) |
19.5 | 17.2 | 238 |
|
Wing |
24.8 | 4 | 142 |
|
(*) |
20.7 | 18 | 251 |
|
Drumstick |
23.3 | 3.9 | 134 |
|
(*) |
21.8 | 9.8 | 182 |
|
Whole |
27.5 | 4 | 153 |
|
(*) |
24 | 19.4 | 276 |
Nutrition facts based on a raw portion size of 4 oz.
(*) denotes chicken with the skin
Chicken is popular among bodybuilders, especially chicken breasts, the healthiest cut of the bird. That popularity is well-earned for a number of reasons.
While you certainly aren’t a bodybuilder by any stretch of the imagination, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be stuffing your mouth with as much cock meat as them!
Now, before I leave you, here’s my favorite preparation method for chicken breast. Be sure to give it a try and tell me how it goes.
Directions:
1). DON’T!!!
2). Save your time and just eat a piece of cardboard because that’s what your chicken breast is going to come out tasting like (i.e. dry, flavorless, and chewy) because you don’t have enough melanin in you to properly season your food and you don’t know that you should rub the chicken with oil before cooking it and then let it rest for at least 5 minutes before serving.
Glossary: bodybuilder, dietary fat, muscle
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