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Bench

bench

noun [bench]
a piece of equipment one would understandably believe is for performing lying or seated variations of exercises but is really for resting water bottles, gym bags, towels, and other personal effects on before getting perturbed at assholes who ask for the removal of said belongings because they insist on using the apparatus for its mistaken purpose.

Example of Bench in a Sentence
Hey, is that your stuff on the bench? Are you using it? If you’re not, I’m gonna pretend that I wanna use it to bench press some dumbbells but what I’m really gonna do is sit on it and play on my phone and make just as much use of it as you are. Hope you don’t mind!

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How To Get Someone To Exercise

How To Get Someone To Exercise written in text with image of a woman yelling at a man through a megaphone as he performs push-ups.

How To Get Someone To Exercise

How To Get Someone To Exercise written in text with image of a woman yelling at a man through a megaphone as he performs push-ups.

Wanna know how to get someone to exercise?

You know, because you just made a lifestyle change and now have to do that annoying thing of trying to convert everybody on some holier-than-thou shit. As is more than likely, that person you want to proselytize is your partner so you can work out together because, fuck, it’s not like they should ever be apart from you nor have the freedom to pick and choose how they spend their time. Nope!

Anyway, whoever that person is, I bet you probably think the best way to get them to work out is to write them a report on the benefits of exercise or how working out gives you the warm fuzzies so you can compel them to want to experience those feelings too. Something else that you may find appealing is plastering their surroundings with posters of people in shape and performing great feats of strength to make them feel bad about how they look, how much they weigh, or how weak they are, in addition to making comments that serve the same purpose. Fuck, you might even want to kidnap and force them to engage in activity with you at gun point if they refuse your invites to come with you to a training session or group fitness class. While all of those ideas are good, none of them are the answer, though.

So how do you get someone to work out then?! Continue reading How To Get Someone To Exercise