Are Breakfast Cereals Healthy?

Wanna hear a scary story?

Huh, do ya?!

*cue spooky music*

Half of Americans eat cereal for breakfast every day, coming out to a total of about 160 bowls per year. That means there’s a 50 percent chance that you’re one of those people.

Now, since I’m 100 percent right that you’re one of those cereal eating motherfuckers, how healthy is that breakfast cereal that I’m 100 percent right that you eat?

Considering that the ads for cereal and the cereal boxes themselves say that breakfast cereal is nutritious, asking about the healthiness of breakfast cereal is a pretty stupid fucking question. Yeah, it’s a pretty stupid fucking question because cereal manufacturers have no reason to lie about how healthy their products are.

Or do they?!?!¹*cue dramatic sound effect*

Dun dun DUNNNNN!!! Continue reading Are Breakfast Cereals Healthy?

What To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers

Thanksgiving is over and after spending the day eating more than you normally do, there’s a lot of delicious green bean casserole and other food left.

You know you can’t eat like every day is Thanksgiving, so what are you to do with all the delicious green bean casserole and other leftover food?¹Yeah, the shitload of food you cooked and now have left over after inviting all your friends, family, and coworkers to your place for dinner and absolutely no one showing up!

You’re right.

You certainly can’t pig out ‘til the leftovers are gone because while one day of indulgence isn’t going to do anything to you, eating freely like that is a good way to welcome weight gain into your life.

So what to do?!

Hmmmm… Continue reading What To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers

Do Fish Oil Pills Work?

Do fish oil pills work?

Fish oil is derived from fish like herring, salmon, mackerel, sardines, albacore, and everybody’s favorite: anchovies.¹The active compounds in fish oil are also present in oils made from krill, green-lipped mussels, and seal blubber. What sets these fish apart is that they’re particularly rich in omega-3 fatty acids thanks to the marine vegetation they consume. These omega-3 fatty acids, namely docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), are said to do an array of impressive things.²NOTE: Some of the benefits include reducing the risk of heart disease and cancer, lowering bad cholesterol and triglycerides, relieving arthritis, fighting inflammation, boosting bone density, improving cognitive performance, decreasing fat mass, stimulating muscle growth, ending world hunger, preventing the impending zombie apocalypse, finally getting Nas a Grammy, etc.

It’s for the benefits conferred by fish oil that nearly 8 percent of adults take the stuff in liquid, capsule, or pill form and spend more than $1B a year on it, ranking it as the most-used natural product in the U.S.

Given the popularity of fish oil, they must apparently work since all those people can’t possibly be wrong.³That’s argumentum ad populum, folks!

Right? Continue reading Do Fish Oil Pills Work?

Protein And The Kidneys: How Much Is Too Much?

The amount of protein you should eat per day is 0.8 to 1.2 grams times your body weight.

Hey, what’s with that look on your face?! Continue reading Protein And The Kidneys: How Much Is Too Much?

What To Use Instead Of Salt For Seasoning

The more you enjoy the food that’s on your eating plan, the more likely you are to stay on course with it and not stray, something that’s especially crucial when trying to lose weight.

…but there’s one teensy-weensy little problem.

You need flavor for your chicken, fish, and rice but can’t use salt or sauces because of the sodium and added calories, respectively.¹NOTE: There are low sodium options like yellow mustard and salsa and calorie-free sauces made by Frank’s Red Hot and Walden Farms, but don’t go ruining my presentation with that shit! I’m trying to make a point here!!!

Yeah, ¡ay Dios mio!²That means “Oh, my God” in Spanish, a language that’s perfect to talk about you behind your back right in front of your face because the odds are high that you only speak English like the average monolingual American.

Hmmmmmm…what on earth are you ever to do?! Continue reading What To Use Instead Of Salt For Seasoning