Are Breakfast Cereals Healthy?
Wanna hear a scary story?
Huh, do ya?!
*cue spooky music*
Half of Americans eat cereal for breakfast every day, coming out to a total of about 160 bowls per year. That means there’s a 50 percent chance that you’re one of those people.
Now, since I’m 100 percent right that you’re one of those cereal eating motherfuckers, how healthy is that breakfast cereal that I’m 100 percent right that you eat?
Considering that the ads for cereal and the cereal boxes themselves say that breakfast cereal is nutritious, asking about the healthiness of breakfast cereal is a pretty stupid fucking question. Yeah, it’s a pretty stupid fucking question because cereal manufacturers have no reason to lie about how healthy their products are.
Or do they?!?!1*cue dramatic sound effect*
Dun dun DUNNNNN!!!
The truth of the matter is that while many types of cereal are made with wheat, corn, rice, and other nutritious grains, those grains are stripped of their natural vitamins and minerals during processing, after which they’re added back along with other micronutrients that weren’t originally present. That’s what’s known as “fortification”.
Oh, but what’s the problem if cereal is fortified with vitamins and minerals?, you ask. After all, the vitamins and minerals that are lost are replaced. And on top of that, the nutrient content is improved with the additional vitamins and minerals that aren’t naturally occurring in the grain.
Well, the problem is that the vitamins and minerals that are added into the cereal are man-made and may be of low bioavailability compared to the stripped ones made by nature, meaning that the body may not absorb nor receive the same benefit from them that it would from the real stuff.
But that’s not all!
Another problem with breakfast cereal is the tons of added sugar compounded to the grains not only being stripped of their vitamins and minerals but also of their fiber content via the removal of the germ for the purpose of increasing shelf life. Now, because fiber is filling and helps regulate blood glucose and insulin, the problem with the lack of it and the loads of quick-digesting sugar should be apparent.2Remember, carbs get broken down into glucose for energy, which insulin transports to the cells. What’s unused gets stored as fat.
Yup, what’s apparent is that the lack of fiber and loads of quick-digesting sugar can have you starving soon after eating a bowl of cereal, which can result in a cycle of overeating and eventual weight gain!
But that’s not all!
The loads of added sugar don’t just fuck with your weight but because cereal makes it easy to exceed the recommended daily amount of sugar, your health can also get fucked up.3e.g. heart disease, diabetes, certain types of cancer, and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD), as well as cognitive decline.
So what to do?
What to do?!
You mean, what to do besides not eat cereal like you’re still a fucking child and instead eat muesli or oatmeal like every other adult who’s already given up on life?!?!
Well, what you can do is look for a cereal that’s 100 percent whole grain, has at least 3g fiber, and contains less than 6g added sugar.4TIP: It also doesn’t hurt to dissolve protein powder in milk before dumping it on your cereal, as well as replacing milk with Greek yogurt or a ready-to-drink protein shake. Adding fruit is another option to help balance out cereal and make it more filling and nutritious.
Okay, story time’s over!
Halloween may be long gone, but boy was that a scary story about how Dr. John Harvey Kellogg’s invention of breakfast cereal as a nutritious meal to start the day has been turned into a nightmare by food manufacturers.
Yeah, it was bone chilling indeed!
But I still don’t think you’ve been scared enough, so here’s some more horrifyingly bloodcurdling stuff…
Sugar Content of Popular Breakfast Cereals by Weight:
• Kellogg’s Honey Smacks – 56%
• Post Golden Crisp – 52%
• Quaker Oats Cap’n Crunch – 44%
• Kellogg’s Apple Jacks – 43%
• Kellogg’s Froot Loops – 41%
• Kellogg’s Raisin Bran – 32%
That’s so much sugar that a single serving of some of the most popular breakfast cereals can contain more sugar than a Twinkie or three Chips Ahoy cookies!
That’s so much sugar that someone who eats a bowl of cereal every day for a year will consume 10 lbs of sugar, increasing the risk of several chronic health conditions that have already been the cause of fright, as well as tooth decay and weight gain!
Yeah, boogedy boogedy boo!
Glossary: fat
