noun [vee·guhn·iz·uhm]
a temporary phase of weeks, months, or years of not consuming animal products before eventually doing so again because life is too short to be miserable sacrificing moral superiority for less than delicious substitutes.
noun [vee·guhn]
1. someone whose dietary restrictions you’ll never have to wonder about because they’ll always make sure to tell you even when you don’t bloody ask.
2. someone who eventually starts eating meat again after several weeks, months, or years of annoying people with their moral superiority. see also: PHASE
noun [stair step·er]
a stair climbing machine that’s kind of the same thing as a stepmill except for the fact that it’s not the same thing as a stepmill because it has individual foot pedals that you stand on and pump up and down while the other consists of a rotating staircase, which is why they’re each called different things. see also: MINUTIAE
noun [food]
1. the shit you’re eating too much of to lose weight.
2. the shit you’re not eating enough of to gain weight.
noun [fit·nis pruh·fesh·uh·nl]
a personal trainer who’s too self-important to be called one.
Example of Fitness Professional in a Sentence
I’m making business cards to hand out to people who may be interested in my personal training services. Which title for myself sounds like I should be taken more seriously than I deserve to be taken: fitness professional or physique architect?
