A Rather Complex Problem

I have a client who I’ve been getting out of bed very, very early in the morning to go train for almost three years now. Yes, she’s been inconveniencing me for that long!

After about a month of reducing her calories to place her in a deficit to start preparing her for the warmer weather and the half-nakedness that goes along with it, our gym was shuttered like all other gyms in various locales across the country to slow the spread of COVID-19.

And what happened to my client?

…

Not a damn thing happened to my client!

In the two months since the gym’s closure, she’s still averaging a loss of 1 lb per week.

But not everyone has the self-government to work out when they’re supposed to or eat what they’re supposed to eat. Nor does everyone have a merciless trainer like me who doesn’t give a fuck about what’s going on in the world, let alone in your personal life during normal times.

Nope!!!

Instead of continuing on with what they were doing prior to the virus’s interruption of their lives, some people have thrown their hands in the air and let their best-laid plans go to rot, with them putting on the “quarantine 15“ because not having access to a gym somehow has something to do with the ability to control your hand and not put so much shit into your mouth (I was apparently absent the day that was covered in my physiology course during my undergrad)!

Since you’re clearly one of those people because I love casting you in a negative light, what are you to do now that the country is slowly phasing out of lockdown and various gathering places are on the cusp of reopening? Yes, that means you’ll eventually have to be seen in public again (unless, of course, you choose to live the remainder of your days as a recluse à la Howard Hughes)!

Should you beat yourself up about falling off the wagon?

As much as you’d like to do that, I’d much more prefer that you left the beating up of you up to me. After all, I’m pretty good at it!

No, what you should do is forget about the weight you’ve gained and just get right back to practicing the habits you were practicing before the virus’s outbreak, which was caused by 5G networks, Bill Gates, a Chinese laboratory, or whatever the latest batshit crazy conspiracy theory is.

It’s really that simple.

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

A Rather Complex Problem

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