Carrot Nutrition Facts

Just in time for Easter Sunday, let’s talk about carrots, the vegetable we’ve all been lied into believing is the favorite and natural food of bunnies, an animal that’s depicted as egg laying in its use as the folkloric figure and symbol of the holiday.

Why on earth would you ever eat fucking carrots?!?!, you ask incredulously.⁣⁣⁣

Good question!⁣⁣⁣

Carrots = 🤮

But here’s the thing…

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Carrots are a good source of several essential vitamins and minerals, such as biotin, a B vitamin that helps break down fat and increase the body’s resting metabolic rate so it burns calories faster.

Apart from vitamins and minerals, some other healthful compounds to be found in carrots are lycopene, which may decrease the risk of heart disease and cancer; polyacetylenes, which may have an effect against leukemia and ovarian, breast, and colon cancer cells; and beta-carotene, a compound that gives carrots their red-orange color and is converted by the body into vitamin A, a nutrient that has a bunch of key benefits for eyesight, such as guarding against cataracts and age-related macular degeneration, in addition to supporting cell growth, reproduction, immunity, and other functions.

Lastly, carrots have cellulose, hemicellulose, and lignin, all forms of insoluble fiber that promote regular bowel movements and thereby reduce the risk of constipation. They’re also full of pectin and other forms of soluble fiber, which can drive down blood glucose levels by slowing the digestion of sugar and starch; lower cholesterol by hindering the absorption of it from the digestive tract; and improve health and reduce the incidence of disease by altering the ratio of Bacteroidetes to Firmicutes in the gut microbiome. It’s this soluble fiber content, as well as the high water count, in carrots that can help you feel fuller longer, which can in turn help you reach and/or stay at a healthy weight.¹100g of carrots is 88 percent water.

And as if those weren’t enough reasons for you to put carrots in your mouth, there’s the added bonus that you can use them for practicing fellatio on, something you should’ve done before your last boyfriend finally dumped you.

Yeah, I know, carrots sound mighty, mighty tasty right about now!

Carrot Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1 medium (61g)

Glossary: calories, fat