You should be stuffing a lot more cock meat down your throat than you currently are.
Why?
Well, let’s run down the benefits of eating chicken… Continue reading The Benefits Of Eating Chicken
Do you have a holiday hangover?
Pbbbt, how the fuck would I know?!?!
You having one or not depends on how familiar the following familiar scenario sounds.
And what exactly is that familiar scenario?!
Well, the familiar scenario is that the holidays are over but you’re still laying on the couch and cursing Santa to high hell for not bringing the discipline to help you get back into the gym after taking some time off because it was impossible to work out during the holidays.1Santa isn’t real! But if he were, no one deserves being spoken about the way you’ve been speaking about him. Your mother should be ashamed!!!
Not only is working out during the holidays an impossible feat a lot of people somehow don’t find all that impossible but you definitely have a holiday hangover and should take the following steps to get back on track! Continue reading Do You Have A Holiday Hangover?
If you’re fat and looking for a culprit to blame because you being fat can’t obviously be your fault, then you’ve certainly come to the right place ‘cause boy have I got the perfect scapegoat for you!
And that scapegoat is… Continue reading How Watching TV Makes You Fat
So you hate tricep kickbacks and the hip abduction machine because they’re stupid, huh?
Okay, don’t do ’em!
But squats?
Deadlifts?
Burpees?
Whatever the exercise is, do you hate it only because it’s hard, either due to it challenging you or making you feel uncomfortable?
Then don’t don’t do ’em!1That’s a double negative, which makes the statement positive!
What?!
You should do the exercises you hate that are uncomfortable or challenge you?
Why the fuck would you do that?!?! Continue reading Why You Should Do Exercises You Hate
Why you’re reading this escapes me.
Maybe you were lured in by the snazzy title.
So I guess this is the part where I’m expected to actually deliver on the headline’s promise, that of telling you how to get a dream body.
¡Aye carumba!
What on earth have I gotten myself into?!
Hmmm…what to write?
What to write?!
Welp, since I have the body of a young Adonis, brilliance of Einstein, and the all-important charm of Josef Stalin, I reckon that it only makes sense for you to have been magnetically drawn to me so that I can provide you with pearls of wisdom so you too can someday have a dream body of your own — which, unfortunately for you, will still pale in comparison to mine.
So here goes nuffin’… Continue reading How To Get A Dream Body (And Lose The Nightmare One You Have)
