Category: ETC.

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The Lesson Of The Day

The Lesson Of The Day

One of my clients doesn’t call sick into work, comes in on her day off if help is needed, and works double shifts when she’s drafted to without bitching and moaning about it. Apparently, she’s a good employee. Well, she’s back from a month long assignment in Arizona.

She started at 150 lbs and got down to 132 lbs before her job told her that she had to work out of town for the month. She had two options:

1). Use that as an excuse to fuck away several months of hard work

or

2). Try to the best of her ability to maintain her progress with no gym activity and less than ideal food choices.

After a month away, she came back yesterday weighing 137 lbs.

So it appears that she decided to go the second route.

The lesson here?

That it’s possible to make the best out of a bad situation?

Ummmmmm…no!

The lesson is that you shouldn’t put yourself in a bad situation in the first place by being such a good fucking worker that your employer entrusts you with even greater responsibility that can help advance your career, which interferes with and is waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy less important than what you hired me to do!!!

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Monster Longe
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Mamma Mia!

Mamma Mia!

My client’s daughter started using Sweet Sweat, something the mother shared in my disagreement with, with the mother herself saying that topical thermogenics don’t work because it’s not possible to spot reduce (i.e. target fat loss in a specific area of the body) and they only help you lose water weight that you’ll regain once you drink fluids and replace the ones lost through sweat.

Well, maybe the mother didn’t say it exactly like that, but you get the point!

Anyway, guess what?

In another exciting episode of “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up“, the daughter tells me today that someone just bought TC1, a motherfucking fat burning cream — with that “someone” being her mother.

Yup, these are my clients!

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Monster Longe
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When She’s Unfaithful

When She’s Unfaithful

So I’m at the gym.

As a client is telling me how good she’s doing with her food choices, her father, who doesn’t know what the fuck we’re talking about, walks up to us and shows me pictures of the cinnamon rolls he baked that he was about to go home and eat. He then asks if she wants him to save her some because she had seemed to really enjoy them the other night.

Yes, I found out she cheated on her nutrition right as she was telling me how good she was doing with it!

I swear you can’t make this shit up!

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Client Appreciation

Client Appreciation

A client was going out of town and asked for my advice on what she could do so she didn’t come back the worse for it. Because that’s kinda what I’m paid the big bucks for, I spelled out several things for her to do.

After giving her the advice she so desperately wanted, guess what?

Yup, she ran down a list of reasons why she couldn’t do any — not even ONE!!! — of the things I told her to do.

It’s clients like you, boo-boo, that make this job sooooooooooooooooo rewarding!

For all that you do in making my job as fulfilling as it is, allow me to thank you from the bottom of my merciless heart with the workout I put you through when you come back.

*thumbs up*

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But…You…Just…Said…

But…You…Just…Said…

A study last week found that eating three or more eggs a week may increase the risk of heart disease and early death, which flies in the face of research that says the opposite, with egg yolk having a host of benefits that include helping to raise HDL (i.e. healthy cholesterol) levels.

…

The fuck?!?!

But isn’t that the case with ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL studies? One study says one thing. Another comes along that completely shits on what the other study said. Then another shits on that and agrees with the first study. Then another study comes and shits on the first and third in support of the second. And the cycle goes on and on as study after study is published that says contradictory shit.

So what gives?!?!

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