Movie Time

Are you interested in learning how to lose weight but you haven’t read any of my articles that detail some of the things you need to do because you’re more of a “I don’t give a fuck about reading” type of learner, which isn’t really true because the truth is that you’re just lazy?

If that’s the case, then boy do I have something for you with the feature presentation below.

So turn down the lights.

Grab some popcorn.

Cozy up to your loved one.

Oh, don’t forget to set the mood by also inviting your friends over.

Yeah, the friends with a young child so you can have the full movie-going experience of muttering under your breath at the dickhead couple inconsiderate enough to bring a baby to a motherfucking theater.

Enjoy!

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)

• How To Eat Healthy During Thanksgiving - November 20, 2024
• Weight Loss Tip: no.2620 - November 20, 2024
• Is Going To The Gym Once A Week Enough? - November 19, 2024

*Toot Toot*

Not to toot my own horn…

*toot toot*

…but I can honestly say that I have one of the bodies that dreams are made of. If you follow my account on Instagram or know me in real life, then you know what I’m saying is true.

I’ve been at this for what will soon be 22 YEARS OF MY LIFE.

TWENTY-FUCKING-TWO!!!

So what theeeeeeee fuck makes you (yeah, YOU!!!) think that you’re going to have the body of YOUR (or anyone else’s) dreams in a few short weeks or months?!

What theeeeeeee fuck is wrong with you?!?!

Click THIS LINK and read the article.*

Then read it again.

And again.

And again.

Read it until you can recite the entire piece verbatim.

That’s how important its contents are to your success, you delusional, impatient motherfucker!

*The author is damn right he’s not a professional. The correct figure is 1-2 lbs. Anything more, and you’re losing muscle. The morbidly obese can be more aggressive though, at least in the beginning.

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)

• How To Eat Healthy During Thanksgiving - November 20, 2024
• Weight Loss Tip: no.2620 - November 20, 2024
• Is Going To The Gym Once A Week Enough? - November 19, 2024

Never Too Late Now

It’s April.

If you live in the Western Hemisphere, especially above the equator, warm weather is fast approaching.

Once upon a long, long time ago, that meant that you were about to be screwed if you didn’t begin the work to get beach ready a few months before.

That’s not the case anymore, though.

Nope!

If you start now, you might have a summer body for the winter, which might actually come in handy with the way climate change is going and it not getting as cold in places that should be cold during the cold season.

Look at global warming buying you more time.

And they say that shit has no positive effects!

HA!!!

• Author
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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)

• How To Eat Healthy During Thanksgiving - November 20, 2024
• Weight Loss Tip: no.2620 - November 20, 2024
• Is Going To The Gym Once A Week Enough? - November 19, 2024

Sorta The Same, But Not Sorta

In my effort to enlighten you savages, I often share brilliant stuff that’s not written by me.

I know, it’s hard to believe that shit actually exists.

But it does!

Now, as many of you have come to find out via whatever interaction you’ve had with me, I’m not a believer in motivation.

I motivate absolutely nobody!

What I set out to do is to inspire (in addition to fostering discipline).

But wait, aren’t motivation and inspiration the same thing, you ask?

Ummmmmmmm, no!!!

And that’s why you should mosey on up to that link and click it to learn you somethin’ that might help you in your current and future endeavors!

• Author
• Recent Posts

Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)

• How To Eat Healthy During Thanksgiving - November 20, 2024
• Weight Loss Tip: no.2620 - November 20, 2024
• Is Going To The Gym Once A Week Enough? - November 19, 2024