Don’t Want To Get Too Big Or Muscular? What Are You, A Freakin’ Mutant?!

I don’t want to look like…a bodybuilder!!!

– someone worthy of abject ridicule, possibly you

The above is essentially what it boils down to when a person says they don’t want to get too big, too bulky, too brolic, too buff, too brawny, or too [some other B-word]. This concern is commonly voiced by women but also said by a growing number of men as to why they don’t want to weight train with something heavier than 5 lbs or follow a demanding workout program.

Whatever form the refrain takes, it all comes down to the same thing: people making an excuse not to work out for fear of turning into something more repulsive than they currently are.

As you’ll soon realize, those fears are unfounded…

…and dumb as fuck, too.

I. Don’t Body Ya Self

The term “bodybuilder” has a very broad definition. For some strange reason though, people prefer a narrow usage of it, with “bodybuilder” only applying to overly muscular men who step on stage in banana hammocks to be judged by other men in front of a roomful of men who enjoy watching orange, oiled up men.

That’s what a bodybuilder is in the popular imagination. However, in reality, anyone venturing to change their body by way of weight training and proper nutrition is a bodybuilder.

That means the skinny kid eating everything in sight and performing curls in the squat rack with hopes of putting on enough size to stop the other kids from stuffing him into the school locker is a bodybuilder. The same goes for the stacked babe who competes in bikini contests to gain from an audience of strangers the validation that her parents never gave her (more regarding her will be touched on later — no perv intended, or maybe).

II. It’s Bio Logical

Now, I know how pesky facts have a way of intruding on preconceived notions. Because opinions are where it’s at, baby, let’s disregard the idea that almost anybody can be a bodybuilder. Instead, let’s continue applying the narrow definition of the term.


I’m sorry to break it to you, but even then you will NOT look like a yucky “bodybuilder” — man or woman alike — just by weight training with some kind of effort.

Regarding women, apparently many of them didn’t take basic biology in school. If they did, they would know that women don’t produce enough testosterone — the anabolic hormone largely responsible for muscle growth — for the training effect to be as pronounced in them as it is with men. Moreover, because females have higher levels of estrogen and progesterone and make only about 1/10 to 1/20 the amount of testosterone that males do, it’s biologically impossible for their muscles to grow big as shit. That is, unless they supply their body with extraordinary amounts of protein and carbs.

Oh yeah, and male hormones shot up in their keister.

As for men, look around your gym. Many of them have astronomical T-levels and are desperately trying to look like the totally grossed out people within the pages of the muscle mags, right? But how many of them are walking around with bodies worth a damn, let alone looking like despicable “bodybuilders”? The truth of the matter is that although a large percentage possess the natural ingredients (i.e. testosterone) to put on slabs of muscle, they lack the bone structure and muscle-fiber makeup to effectively do so. In addition, many don’t possess the dedication and discipline necessary to sleep the needed hours, eat the required amount of food, and train hard enough to reach the level of monstrosity that’s outside of the mainstream norm and that many people are put off by.

Oh yeah, and extra male hormones shot up in their keister.

III. How About Some Hardcore? (Yeah, We Like It Raw!)

What in the mind of many constitutes a hardcore regimen isn’t going to make someone look like an icky “bodybuilder”, at least not by itself. For anyone to say that as a fear means they don’t understand the amount of work and chemicals at play to create such a despised look. With that said, however, while training hard won’t produce a body that grosses out most of the judgmental pricks making up society, it’ll most certainly do something else.

Like what?

You know that goal you want to achieve? The athletic looking body with low body fat? Well, one of the best ways to accomplish it is NOT by mindlessly plodding on the treadmill. Nor is it by lifting poundages lighter than your girl’s purse that she conveniently asks you to hold for her EVERY FUCKING TIME you two go out (which is nothing more than her cock-blocking way of marking her territory and signifying to other females that you’re not available…but you’re a player, and a player’s gonna play! Ain’t that right, playa?!).


The way to achieve the look you’re after is by way of…drum roll, please…a weight training program that has you fearing a little bit for your life as you’re doing it.

This is especially crucial for women.

As they grow older (and more likely to die alone if they’re not already married), they’re more prone to suffer from loss of strength, bone and lean muscle mass, and physical ability. The greater odds are owed to women concentrating on aerobic exercise at the expense of resistance training. And when they do resistance train, they generally don’t exercise their muscles properly or with enough intensity.

In order for women to fight off the effects of old age, as well as to build a more shapely body in their youth, they need to prompt muscle growth — and that’s done by pressing, squatting and curling a heavy enough weight that makes you grimace your face, grunt, curse to high heaven, and any other unladylike behavior.

So if you want a smoking hot body capable of strutting around in a bikini and stripper heels so you too can get the validation from others that mummy and daddy didn’t give you, weight training’s your ticket!

It won’t make you look manlier than you already do, toots!

Nor will lifting like you have a pair of balls make you the biggest, baddest motherfucker in any room you walk into and completely ruin your aesthetics, brah!

Still arrogant enough to believe that you’re so special that you’re going to pick a weight up today and magically fall out of bed tomorrow with a body that’s taken many a fuckload of time and energy to attain? Tell me about it! For bonus shits and giggles, tell me about your other delusions of grandeur too!

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