Understanding Carbs

How good is your understanding of carbs?

I can only speak for myself here, but I generally don’t read stuff I’m already well-versed in.

Applying that same logic to you, your understanding of carbs obviously isn’t that good since you’re about to read the ensuing brilliance that’ll give you a better understanding of that which you know not of.

 

WHAT ARE CARBS?

Carbs are organic compounds made of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.¹Carbs is short for “carbohydrates”, and you can call them by their full name each and every time you mention them if you want to be pretentious about it. They’re one of the three basic food groups, in addition to fat and protein, and they come in three types: monosaccharides, disaccharides, and polysaccharides.²The three basic food groups are also known as macros, which is short for “macronutrients”. That now gives you something else you can call by their full name each and every time you mention them if you still want to be pretentious about it!

WHAT DO CARBS DO?

Carbs are the body’s main source of energy in the form of sugar, with monosaccharides providing one sugar unit, disaccharides two, and polysaccharides three or more.³“Saccharide” comes from the Latin word for sugar. You’re going to be fun at parties with that factoid! These sugar compounds are otherwise known to you by their familiar names: simple and complex carbs.⁴Monosaccharides and disaccharides represent the former and polysaccharides the latter.

When consumed, the body stores the sugar in the liver and muscle tissues as glycogen before converting it to glucose as needed, if not immediately entering the bloodstream.

Whatever isn’t used gets stored as fat in adipose tissue for the body’s future energy needs.⁵Based on what I can see, you’re NOTHING but energy! Yes, I just indeed called you fat, but in a nice way without being offensive because your feelings are much, muuuuuuuch more important than your health and a statement of the facts. Hey, what can I say?! Political correctness is rubbing off on me too, tubby!

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SIMPLE AND COMPLEX CARBS?

Besides the number of saccharide units they contain, simple carbs get broken down and absorbed faster than complex carbs for immediate fuel.

WHY EAT CARBS?

Not that you have that much muscle, but carbs can prevent the body from using protein from your hard-earned muscle as energy, as the body would rather burn that for fuel than body fat. Also, complex carbs are high in fiber, a nutrient that can help you feel full so you don’t do that overeating thing you do between meals.

WHAT FOODS HAVE CARBS?

As a general rule, simple carbs offer little nutrition and can be found in all the sugary foods and drinks that taste delicious and make life worth living for.⁶Examples include donuts, candy, and soda, cookies, fruit juice, potato chips, and ice cream, white bread, breakfast cereal, and instant oats, and sweeteners like table sugar, high fructose corn syrup, honey, and agave. On the other hand, complex carbs are the bland, boring shit like fruits, veggies, legumes, and whole-grain breads and cereals.⁷In regard to fruits and vegetables, it’s a little bit of an oversimplification to categorize them solely as complex carbs. More factually speaking, the naturally-occurring sugars in fruit and some vegetables are simple while the skin and other parts are complex by way of fiber.

 

WILL CARBS MAKE YOU FAT?

According to anti-carb zealots, just a simple look at carbs is enough to turn you into a gelatinous blob. Nope, you don’t even have to actually eat them. A momentary glance in their direction and *POOF* you’re fat!

Okay, that’s a straw man argument of the position against carbs, but the thinking is all the same.

Carbs have a bad rap for making people who eat A LOT of carbs fat.

More often than not, these people who eat A LOT of carbs also DON’T get a lot of exercise.

If the bolding of words isn’t enough of a clue, the problem here isn’t carbs.

The problem is eating too much of them, especially foods containing simple and refined carbs, which they compound with a lack of daily activity.

So the answer is no, carbs will not make you fat. They’ll only do that if you eat more of them than you’re supposed to.

HOW MANY CARBS TO EAT?

The recommended daily amount is 130g for adults, but that’s just the minimum and should be bumped up the more active you are, with carb intake accounting for 45 to 65 percent of total daily calories.⁸NOTE: Consult a medical professional if you have diabetes or some other carbohydrate metabolism disorder because…wait for it…I’M NOT A FUCKING DOCTOR!!! For someone eating 2000 calories, 900 to 1300 of those calories should come from carbs.⁹Because we’re having so much fun with math here, one gram of carbs equals four calories. That means those 900 to 1300 calories of carbs translate to a daily target of 225-325 grams.

Now, if you’re like most Americans, you already eat more than enough simple carbs and not enough of the blah kind.

So limit simple carbs to small daily indulgences and satisfy the majority of your carb requirements with complex carbs.

WHEN TO EAT CARBS?

The period after sleep is when the body’s insulin sensitivity — or the ability to store glucose as glycogen — is at the highest. See, the body uses its stored reserves to power itself during the time there’s no new supply of energy coming in.¹⁰If you fail to provide enough carbs before bed for the body to store as glycogen to fuel itself for however long you sleep, then it’ll turn to breaking down muscle for its needs, which we don’t want!!! Upon waking, the body is prime to receive carbs to help replenish its stores. As such, much of what you eat won’t get stored as fat. This is when you should eat oats and fruit for sustained and immediate energy.

The same logic applies with eating carbs after working out. When you work out hard, you deplete your glycogen stores. Eating carbs following a workout not only helps replenish glycogen but they also aid with recovery by helping to shuttle protein and other nutrients to damaged muscle tissue for repair. This is when you should eat simple carbs, as they’ll enter the bloodstream and provide sustenance to the muscle cells faster.

Lastly, because the primary function of carbs is energy, eating them before a workout is advisable. To this end, consume quinoa, beans, legumes, nuts, or other complex carbs at least an hour before your workout. The closer you get to your workout, the less complex the carb choice. So if you’re only able to eat as you’re walking through the gym doors, then aim for an apple or gummy bears, for example.

With all of that said, it doesn’t really matter when you eat carbs.

For the average person, which you are despite your many protestations to the contrary, all that matters is total intake. For the most part, a carb is a carb whether you eat it at 7 AM or 7 PM.

HOW TO EAT CARBS?

What the fuck kinda question is this?!?!

You eat carbs like you would any other food: open your mouth, put food in, close your mouth, chew the food a couple of times while loudly smacking your lips, and swallow!!!

Anyway, I have you asking me this idiotic question for the sole purpose of telling you to always pair carbs with protein, especially when dieting. Why is because protein helps with the sensation of fullness.¹¹As you eat less calories under a diet, the more fullness matters so you don’t succumb to cravings. It also slows down digestion and blunts the insulin response, like another nutrient you’re about to ask me about…

 

WHAT ABOUT FIBER?

As mentioned, complex carbs are high in fiber, a nutrient that comes in soluble and insoluble form.

Soluble fiber is the kind that helps with appetite control. When you eat this type of fiber, it dissolves and forms a gel in the gut. This not only makes you get full faster but the feeling of satiety lasts longer after a meal. Soluble fiber also has the effect of slowing the rate in which glucose is absorbed by the body, helping to keep blood sugar and insulin levels low.

Whereas soluble fiber acts like a sponge, insoluble fiber is more like a broom, as it helps move waste through the system.

Other than helping with weight management and shitting, dietary fiber also lowers LDL cholesterol levels. LDL is what’s better known as “bad” cholesterol. Lowering it reduces blood pressure and decreases the risk of heart conditions associated with the narrowing and blocking of the blood vessels from the build-up of plaque on the arterial walls.

Given all those benefits, fiber sure does sound like a big deal, huh?!?!

So much of a big deal that you’re eager to find out how much of it you should consume!

Well, your daily fiber intake should be 21-25 grams if you’re a woman and 30-38 grams if you’re a man.¹²Fibrous foods contain a mix of soluble and insoluble fiber. Those with higher concentrations of soluble fiber include oats, barley, nuts, seeds, beans, lentils, peas, fruits, and vegetables. As for insoluble fiber, sources include wheat bran, whole grains like brown rice, and vegetables like spinach, kale, and cauliflower.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Yeah, there’s resistant starch.

WHAT IS RESISTANT STARCH?

Resistant starch is a complex carb that’s very similar to fiber. It digests slowly and doesn’t raise blood glucose levels. It also increases feelings of fullness, alleviates constipation, and decreases cholesterol.

Yeah, like I said, it’s like fiber!

Where resistant starch differs, though, is that it increases fat burning with the release of butyrate and other short-chain fatty acids as the foods high in resistant starch pass through the small intestine.

WHAT FOODS HAVE RESISTANT STARCH?

Plantains, bananas, white beans, lentils, potatoes, and whole grains are high in resistant starch, but to varying degrees depending on how they’re prepared.

To preserve the resistant starch in plantains and bananas, you should eat them the less ripe they are. With oats, place them uncooked in yogurt or milk and let them soak overnight. Leaving things overnight also goes for cooked rice, pasta, beans, and potatoes. Cooking and cooling rice and the like helps increase the resistant starch content.¹³So does adding coconut oil!

 

 

Those STD test results you’re waiting to get back from the lab? That’s scary!

Baring your soul to someone and not knowing if they share your feelings in kind? That’s scary!!

Forgetting to lock your phone before stepping out of a room and finding it in your significant other’s hand when you walk back in and not knowing if they read your STD test results or your soul-baring direct message to your IG crush? That’s scary!!!

But carbs?

After reading this, you now know they’re one less thing to be scared of!

This right here is what usually happens when you get a better understanding of something. You see that your prejudices were unwarranted. And that’s exactly what happened with you learning that carbs aren’t the Anton Chigurh of macronutrients they’re made out as. Instead, they offer many benefits someone who’s serious about their health and fitness goals should take advantage of.

So how serious are you?!

Glossary: adipose, calories, diet, exercise, fat, fitness, gym, muscle, work out, workout

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