The Different Kinds Of Fats

What if I told you that you should eat more fat to lose weight, build muscle, and be healthier?

Yeah, you’d look at me as incredulously as you’re looking at me right now!

It’s understandable because, as everyone knows, fat is what makes you fat, if not makes your heart explode after clogging up your arteries.

Sorry, but there are different kinds of fats.

Because your mother didn’t raise a food bigot, I’m sure you’d like to know more information about the various types of fats to better form an educated opinion on them.¹Well, she might’ve raised a food bigot. How the fuck am I to know what the fuck went on in your home?!?! You know, instead of lumping them all together and relying on preconceived notions like some kind of food bigot!

 

SATURATED FAT

I’m sure you’ve heard of saturated fat before, especially that it raises cholesterol and clogs arteries. Well, it appears that science has had a change of heart.²See what I did there?! It was so clever that you wouldn’t have noticed unless I brought it to your attention. This shit is fucking comedic genius, I tell ya! Current findings suggest that the risk for cardiovascular disease isn’t as enhanced as previously thought.³That means that saturated fat won’t automatically inflict heart conditions capable of causing you to die as soon as the shit hits your tongue.

Now aware of saturated fat’s safety, you might want to increase your intake because there’s a link between saturated fat and increased production of the >muscle building hormone affectionately known as testosterone by all meatheads. But before you go gobbling up all the saturated fat you can, be on the safe side and keep your intake to 10 percent of your total calories.⁴You just never know when science will change its mind again…and you don’t want to be this close to the big one, on the way to join Elizabeth, because you ate nothing but shit loaded with saturated fat!

Examples of foods with saturated fat include⁵Be aware that all fat products contain a mixture of various fatty acids and that the foods in each pursuant category are listed based on the dominant type of fat.

 

TRANS FAT

When people think of the word “fat”, trans fatty acids are what they’re thinking of. The big bad Boogeyman of dietary fat, trans fat causes inflammation, increases the risk of type II diabetes, and contributes to heart disease and stroke by lowering good (HDL) cholesterol and raising bad (LDL) cholesterol. Due to these dangers, less than 1 percent of daily calories should come from trans fat.

Yeah, it’s this cheap flavor enhancer used by restaurants, fast food chains, snack food companies, and other processed food makers that sullies the name of dietary fat as a whole!

Examples of foods with trans fat include

 

MONOUNSATURATED FAT

Monounsaturated fat is the type of fat that’s been heralded as delivering all things, from coronary health to cancer prevention to world peace. As if those weren’t enough gifts to humanity, monounsaturated fat not only raises the body’s production of natural fat-burning hormones like adiponectin but it also helps with calcium absorption.

Do you have any idea what that means?!?!

It means that it strengthens your bones so they don’t turn to dust under that heavy ass weight you have to push in order to prompt muscle growth!!!

Also, do you remember mitochondria? Sure you do!⁶Their being the powerhouse of the cell is the only thing you took away from your years of biology class! Well, monounsaturated fats make mitochondria function better. Why that’s good for us is that our overall metabolism increases as a result of their burning off energy more efficiently.

Examples of foods with monounsaturated fat include

 

POLYUNSATURATED FAT

Heard of omega-3s? Of course, you have!

Well, the much ballyhooed omega-3s are polyunsaturated fats.⁷As are omega-6 fatty acids. Beyond their heart healthy benefits, there’s good news for the rest of us who don’t give a fuck about that sort of shit. Instead, we’re about the aesthetic. To our delight, a study found a group of dieters gained more muscle mass and less body fat with polyunsaturated fats than the group without them. So polyunsaturated fats have a role in body composition, though the mechanism by which it occurs is unknown at the time of this writing.

Examples of foods with polyunsaturated fat include

 

MEDIUM CHAIN TRIGLYCERIDES

The fat that isn’t fat! That’s exactly what medium chain triglycerides (MCTs) are. Containing fewer carbon atoms but still providing 9 calories like other fats, the body metabolizes MCTs as energy quicker. This not only reduces the probability of their getting stored as fat but also accelerates the metabolism by burning calories in the process.

Before MCTs become your lifeblood, note that an increase in the metabolic rate is a brief effect, as is the increased speed of lipolysis.⁸Psst…lipolysis is the breaking down of body fat. But make MCTs part of your diet and you’ll see the fat loss add up over time.

Examples of foods with medium chain triglycerides include

 

 

I’ve provided reasons to eat fat for health and narcissistic purposes, like muscle building and weight loss.

But how is it possible to eat fat and reap those benefits without getting fat?!?!

Good question!

I’m not a registered dietitian or nothin’, so that’s beyond my expertise.

But if I had to venture a guess why fat makes people fat, I would say the average American gets about 40 percent of their calories from fats.⁹We only need about 10 percent to survive, with the high end of many health agency guidelines suggesting that fats make up 35 percent of an adult’s caloric intake. On top of that, fat is 9 calories per gram, which is five more than a gram of carbs or protein. So couple the exceeding of recommendations with the fact that the average American is sedentary and what do you get? What you get is that the problem isn’t the single nutrient “fat”. The actual problem is overconsumption and lack of physical activity.

So the reason that fat makes people fat is that people eat way too much of it then take little, if any, compensatory measures.

That’s right, fat has been made a scapegoat for people’s inability to blame themselves for their actions, or lack thereof!

But hey, that’s just my uneducated opinion!

As such, because I’m a little bit of a dunce in this field, take it with a grain of salt that you should have no fear of getting fat from eating fat if you stay within the recommended guidelines.

 

 

Welp, there it is.

Fats aren’t the boogeyman.¹⁰Okay, maybe trans fat is.

They won’t make you balloon up enough to warrant slapping “Goodyear” on your side.

That is, as long as you watch your intake and move around.

You’ve also learned that the different kinds of fats contribute to general health. Moreover, you learned that fats are an important part of body composition.

What else is there to say?

Yeah, nothing much.

Now please excuse me as I go accept my award for making the world a better place with my teaching you how to embrace difference!

Glossary: aesthetic, calories, diet, dietary fat, fat, hormones, metabolism, muscle

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