What’s keeping you from doing or becoming the great thing you were destined to do or become?
My, what a silly question!
The answer is E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E!!!
Everyone’s holding you back!
If it weren’t for them, you’d be [insert whatever] by now.
But instead, your life plans haven’t panned out the way they were supposed to.
And it’s all…thanks…to…them!
I don’t know who the fuck “them” is, but trust me that I’m on your side.
It’s not your fault that you didn’t take school seriously and your choice of colleges was limited. It’s the fault of the colleges for having high academic standards!
It’s not your fault that you majored in a worthless liberal arts degree and you’re now underemployed. It’s society’s fault for becoming more technical!
It’s not your fault that you’re not moving up the ladder at the job you’re underemployed at. It’s your boss’s fault for only promoting people in possession of the right behavior, attitude, and skills.
It’s not your fault that you had a child before you should’ve and had to put your life on hold. It’s the baby’s fault for creating itself!
It’s not your fault that you’ve been living beyond your means and are now mired in debt. It’s the fault of all the people you were trying to impress!
It’s not your fault that you eat the crap that you do to ease the pain of the way your life has turned out and are now unpleasantly plump. It’s your family’s fault for saddling you with such crappy genetics!
It’s not your fault.
Nothing is.
It’s everyone else’s!
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