How Often Do You Eat Out?

Q: Do you eat out? And if you do, how often? Yeah, I got straight to the point of my question without beating around the bush like these other motherfuckers do when they preface with ancillary shit that you don’t give a fuck about and more than likely skip past and don’t even read, just like how you’re not reading this right now because you stopped reading once I asked my fucking question. But here I am still typing away…

A: Do I eat out?!?!

My, that’s a rather personal question!

All I’ll say to that is…

…have you seen these lips? These lips were made for eating out!!!

Now, in the interest of steering this inquiry away from my oral sex habits and towards the realm of fitness and nutrition, as all questions should be limited to, I’m going to pretend that your question is in regards to restaurant food and whether or not I eat it regularly.

The answer to that is no!

Food away from home (i.e. restaurant and fast food shit) is often the biggest contributor to a lot of people’s weight gain because it’s generally high in calories, sodium, sugar, and fat, of which the portion sizes are humongous.

So how do I avoid the trap of having to eat that shit when I’m out?

Well, if I know I’m going to be out for a while, I avoid the trap of having to stop and eat somewhere by either (a) timing my meals so I eat before leaving and won’t need to eat again until I come back or (b) taking food with me.

And by taking food with me, I mean a Pop-Tart or protein powder. I’ve never been one of those meal prepping motherfuckers who lugs around Tupperware all over the fucking place. I have nothing against that, it’s just not something I’ve ever had the need to do. But hey, if that’s something that might work for you, then by all means do it!

Now that I’ve redeemed that question and made it serve educational purposes, any more wackadoo questions from the rest of you?

Email me or ask me on Instagram (but please don’t make me have to do the same work of pulling your question out of the gutter and making it respectable)!

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

How Often Do You Eat Out?

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