How To Be Taken Seriously At The Gym
Do you feel like no one takes you seriously at the gym?
If you’re not getting the respect you deserve from fellow gym members as one of the most serious people at the gym, nobody can change that but you. How you can go about that is by doing what serious people do when working out. Toward that end, implement any one of the following suggestions and double down on those you already do.
Yup, do that and my fingers are definitely not crossed that you’ll be well on your way to everyone regarding you as the most serious member of your gym!
SUGGESTIONS:
(1). Work out in a tank top, stringer, or some other very revealing garment that shows off muscles you don’t have.
(2). Wear a weightlifting belt for every single set of every single exercise.1Oh, and be sure to keep it on even during rest breaks!
(3). Lift in expensive over-the-ear headphones that are too big for your head and you constantly have to stop your set to readjust so they don’t fall off and break.
(4). Perform every exercise with so much weight that your range of motion is only a few centimeters, if even that much.2 Even better, slam the weight on the stack between reps when using a machine or cable pulley. On the off chance that you’re using dumbbells or a barbell, which should be rare, be sure to throw the weight to the ground at the end of every set even if it can be lowered otherwise. Regardless, after using any type of equipment and barely moving the weight, be sure to stand up and walk around with your chest puffed out!
(5). Grunt loudly no matter the exercise or how light the weight is.
(6). Work out in lifting gloves.3Even better, walk to the gym from your car with them already on!
(7). Work out in a hoodie no matter the temperature.4 Even better, make sure it’s a hoodie tank top combo whose existence makes logical sense.
(8). Have someone spot you on a lift with an amount of weight you have no business using and shout out “It’s all you!” during the set.5This situation also meets the criteria for you to stand up and walk around with your chest puffed out, so remember to do that too!
(9). Tie your hair into a bun.6This is only if you’re a dude, and even more so if you’re an American dude and not a European one where that pansiness would be expected!
(10). Carry a gallon jug of Kool-Aid colored/BCAAs water to show that you’re not only about that hydration life but also wasting-your-money-on-bullshit-supplements life, too.
(*). Hire a personal trainer who you talk to for most of the session and on the very rare occasion that you actually do work out, it’s doing dumb shit, like pistol squats on a Bosu ball while juggling weight plates with a dumbbell clenched between your teeth.7This is a free bonus tip!
Glossary: barbell, chest, dumbbell, exercise, gym, gym member, lifting belt, lifting gloves, muscle, personal trainer, stringer, supplement, work out
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