How To Eat Healthy During Thanksgiving

What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

– Erma Bombeck, a humorist who apparently missed her calling as an etymologist

Many people will intentionally work out harder or longer on Thanksgiving morning to deserve the right to stuff their face with Thanksgiving goodies later in the day, if not intentionally work out harder or longer the morning after to burn off the meals and desserts from the day before.

If a fucked up relationship with food is what you’re after so exercise becomes a punishment for eating or permission to do so, then sure, go ahead and do a workout Thursday or Friday that strays beyond your norm!

If an eating disorder isn’t on your agenda, then eat in accordance with one of several holiday eating tips out there.

Or, hear me out here…

Instead of worrying about what you can and can’t eat on Thanksgiving, you can just make your life easier by remembering that the holiday is a once a year festivity and one day of indulgence isn’t going to set you back and obliterate your progress, so long as you hop right back on the wagon and don’t allow things to snowball. That being the case, you can eat whatever the fuck you want without worrying about exercise or having to adhere to a tip to help you eat healthy during Thanksgiving.

With that out of the way, what dish or dessert are you looking forward to feasting on at Thanksgiving as a relative of yours says some wild racist shit at the dinner table, with awkward silence falling upon the scene for a split second before everyone pretends they didn’t hear the comment so they don’t have to do the morally responsible thing and call them out?

Me?

Well, because I’m morally righteous, I don’t celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. But if I were living my life oblivious to the plight and history of others, I’d probably have a particular fondness for stuffing.

Oh, and before you read into it, me picking stuffing, which is rammed inside the anal cavity of turkey, has nothing to do with me liking to stuff the anal cavity of “birds”, a slang term for women!¹This post was originally written for one of my Instagram accounts and in reference to this passage of the text, one of my followers left the following comment: You have a real knack for making a delicious food sound completely unappetizing, so thanks for that!

Being the savvy businessman I am, my follower’s clear appreciation for my talent gave me the idea to construct a new offering around it that can be included with my other services or as a standalone. How it’ll work is someone tells me what food(s) they have a total weakness for and I work my literary powers to make it totally unappealing so they can avoid it. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?

Let me know!

What about you?

Glossary: diet, exercise, work out, workout

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)

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