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It’s This, Not That

It’s This, Not That

If you haven’t worked out in the past few weeks of quarantine and are now crying in stupid posts about the shitload of weight you’ve gained, the problem isn’t your inability to work out, which is what you’re blaming.

So what’s the problem then?

Hmmmmm…

Let’s see if we can work it out!

Before your gym closed a few weeks ago, you weren’t gaining weight because whatever amount of calories you were eating weren’t over the amount needed to support your body’s normal processes and those needs imposed by regular exercise. And in the weeks since your gym has closed, you’ve continued to eat the same number of calories that you were eating when you were working out regularly, if not more. Does all of that describe you?

If that’s true (it fucking is!!!), then hear me out…

For reasons that I can’t get into here, just know that exercise doesn’t play as big of a role in weight management as people think it does. Instead, the largest determinant factor in weight control is what you put inside your motherfucking mouth. More specifically, it’s the quantity of what you put inside your motherfucking mouth that has the greatest impact on your weight.

With that said, the weight gain you’re now crying in stupid posts about has zero to do with you not being able to work out and everything to do with you not having the brainpower to reduce your calories in line with an activity level reflective of your sloth-like existence once one week, two weeks, THREE FUCKING WEEKS of total inactivity elapsed!!!

Yeah, I think that’s the problem!


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Monster Longe
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