There’s a reason why you’re not seeing gains — excuse me, I meant GAINZ!!! — from whatever the fuck it is that you’re doing.
I could easily charge a pretty penny for this secret but I’m too much of a bleeding heart Commie to take advantage of you for financial interest.
Instead, I’m spilling the beans here for $free.99
What’s the secret? The gem? The pearl of wisdom? The nugget? The training tip worth shitillions of dollars?
The jewel I’m about to drop on you is heavy.
Are you ready for it?
Did I hear you right?
Well, well, well…
Several times we’ve touched on the separation between exercisers and trainees. But besides that line of demarcation, there’s another difference between people like me and people like you.
I. People Like Moi*
People such as yours truly?
We’re NEVER too busy to find time to exercise — we always find it.
There’s NEVER no time to work out — we always make time for it.
Ya see, we schedule our day around our workout plans. Our number one priority — and if it isn’t numero uno, it’s somewhere right up there at the top of the damn list — is taking our ass to the motherfucking gym.
If something pops up that threatens our normal flow/gym routine, then on the day of the intervening event we’ll avert disaster by training earlier or later than our regularly scheduled time. Or if we’re unable to go to the gym altogether, we’ll move the weight training session to some date well ahead or immediately after the interruption.
We’ll find a way to train regardless of what’s going on in our life so as not to use that as an excuse for not doing what we’re supposed to be doing to reach our fitness goal(s).
That’s why the people with the superhuman strength you covet so much are as strong as they are. That’s why the people with the comic book bodies you’re envious of look the way they look.
*That’s “me” in Frenchy talk — (you’d be bilingual too if you had bothered to pay attention to those Pepé Le Pew cartoons like moi).
II. ¿Y tu?**
People like you?!
Not so much.
You’re ALWAYS too busy to find time to work out — you never find it.
There’s ALWAYS no time to exercise — you never make time for it.
That’s because your life doesn’t revolve around training. For you, working out is somewhere at the bottom of your daily priorities.
To you, training is a chore, a simple afterthought. It’s not part of your fiber. So bad weather, sickness, hectic job schedules, out-of-town work assignments, broken down car, religious holidays, vacations, weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, dance recitals, your kid’s soccer tournament, PTA meetings, whatever you can think of, are enough to throw your best laid fitness plans out of whack and cause you to take unplanned time off.
That’s why you’re still struggling to open up that pickle jar and why you have a body you wouldn’t even wish on your worst enemy.
**That’s español for “and you?” — (don’t mind me, I’m just showing off my four years of high school Spanish. Look at me, being polyglot and shit. I know you’re jealous, all hating on my worldliness).
III. How’re You Gonna Answer Back?
Shit happens. It’s part of life. The dividing line between people like you and people like me isn’t that we’re losers who have endless hours at our disposal to pursue fitness.
Contrary to popular opinion, the majority of us have regular lives with regular jobs and regular families, all of which have their own stressors that take up our energy.
No, what separates us is how we make time our bitch and bend it to work in our favor in light of family, social and work obligations, evening commitments, observances, and unexpected emergencies.
There’s no magic formula.
It’s all about managing your day-to-day in order to achieve consistency, which goes hand-in-hand with success.
Learn how to respond to what life throws at you, and you just might start seeing the results that you keep retarding by continually stopping and starting because you have “no time to work out”.
Now take your ass to the motherfucking gym.
…but need more than just a stern talking to? Then download my FREE ebook. Take Your Ass To The M*fkn Gym (And What To Do When You Get There) will give you exclusive tips on how to squeeze exercise into the tightest of schedules. All you have to do is join my mailing list and it’s all yours for FREE, no pocket change required!