This Is How To Hoard

When it became more evident that coronavirus was going to impact daily life, people made a mad dash for the grocery store to stock up on essentials just in case shit hit the fan.

Speaking to that, someone posted a meme on IG stating something to the effect of canned food and hand sanitizer being out of stock at every grocery store but fresh fruit, vegetables, and herbs remaining virtually untouched, with that serving as proof that people don’t have any idea how the immune system works.

When I scrolled through my feed and saw that, I kindly left a comment asking which one has a longer shelf life and reduces the frequency of someone having to leave their home to procure goods, something that lowers the likelihood of exposure to the contagion. To show I was in real deep thought about what the answer was, I ended the question with a thinking emoji.

The person who posted the meme didn’t answer, of course.

Anyway, I’m sure you know that canned produce lasts longer than the fresh variety.

…but that’s not the only reason why the argument is stupid.

Contrary to what many people think, the nutrient content of canned produce is comparable to that of the fresh variety. In fact, in some cases, canned fruits and veggies actually contain more vitamins and minerals than their fresh counterparts because of the preservation process that occurs immediately upon harvesting. On account of this, apart from some canned produce just offering greater nutrient values, those nutrients may also be more bioavailable (i.e. can be absorbed and made use of by the body).

So, ummmmm, yeah.

Most of the stupid argument is stupid either way.*

*Emphasis on “most”, as soap is more effective at killing germs than hand sanitizer, so why shoppers wiped out the inventory of hand sanitizer but left grocery shelves full of soap defies logic. As such, the meme won’t get an argument out of me concerning that. But buying fresh fruits and vegetables that are only going to spoil in a number of days? Yeah, that kinda defeats the irrational purpose of hoarding food and having a stockpile just in case the supply chain breaks down! Gosh, it’s almost like these holistic schmucks never watched an episode of Doomsday Preppers!!!

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

This Is How To Hoard

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