How To Track Weight Loss With Your Clothes

For a bunch of reasons I won’t get into here, the scale isn’t the best measure of weight loss success. It’s as trustworthy as the motherfucker you’re romantically involved with.¹ They had to work overtime last night…and you bought that shit?!?!

Yeah, you definitely deserve to be lied to.

Damn, have some dignity!

Get off your knees and stop begging and pleading for me to tell you why you shouldn’t rely on the scale. Fuck, I already said I won’t get into it, and that’s that!!! By the way, here’s a fucking tissue to dry your eyes!²Just because I won’t tell you doesn’t mean I won’t tell these other people that one issue with the scale is that it only measures body weight, not the body’s muscle-to-fat ratio.

Anyway, if the scale can’t be trusted, then what’s a better barometer?

You mean, how can you tell you’re losing weight other than through progress photos, body fat and circumference measurements, general well-being, and people willing to be seen with you in public more?

Well, by your clothes!

All you have to do is choose an article of clothing that’s your goal size and try the item on every few weeks to see how it fits.

An example is that old pair of “fuck me” jeans in your closet from your hot girl summer days. If they fit looser in the waist or there’s more room in the legs, then you’re on the right track and are losing fat. But if they’re still so snug that you have to momentarily turn into a kangaroo and jump around to be able to pull them up, then you need to stay on track and (a) give what you’re doing more time to work or (b) make adjustments.³The most common adjustments are taking in fewer calories by eating less and/or increasing activity to burn more calories. The same goes if you can’t fit into the jeans at all despite wearing slick pantyhose underneath and slathering your legs in baby oil to try to slide them on.

Yes, it’s as simple as that!

Glossary: calories, fat, muscle

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

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