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Adipose

adipose

noun [ad·uh·pohs]
1. fancy-schmancy way of saying body fat, as if you’re carrying less of it by referring to it by a highfalutin name.

Example of Adipose in a Sentence
“My body, my choice” is a feminist slogan that most often involves issues of abortion. Since that’s all about bodily autonomy, I’m sure what words I want to use when talking about my body also apply. So listen here: if I want to be pedantic and refer to my fat by its technical name of adipose, then so be it, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

 

2. that thing you’re carrying around more of than the childhood trauma that’s weighing you down just as much. see also: TONY SOPRANO

Example of adipose in a Sentence
Some would say I’m obese because I eat too much and the amount of adipose in my body is greater than the amount of lean mass. Me? I would say I’m big boned and that’s what’s responsible for what the scale says. I guess we’ll just have to have a difference of opinion!

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Gym

gym

noun [jim]
1. short for gymnasium, it’s that place you pay a monthly fee to go exercise at but never actually go. see also: AFFLUENCE

2. a room or building housing a variety of machines, weights, and other equipment but where, somehow, only the bench press is ever used. see also: MTWTFSS

3. a place that’s used as a backdrop to take selfies to mix up your social media feed.

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Do You Have A Holiday Hangover?

Do You Have A Holiday Hangover? written in text with image of Santa Claus lying face up on the ground in exhaustion.

Do You Have A Holiday Hangover?

Do You Have A Holiday Hangover? written in text with image of Santa Claus lying face up on the ground in exhaustion.

Do you have a holiday hangover?

Pbbbt, how the fuck would I know?!?!

You having one or not depends on how familiar the following familiar scenario sounds.

And what exactly is that familiar scenario?!

Well, the familiar scenario is that the holidays are over but you’re still laying on the couch and cursing Santa to high hell for not bringing the discipline to help you get back into the gym after taking some time off because it was impossible to work out during the holidays.1Santa isn’t real! But if he were, no one deserves being spoken about the way you’ve been speaking about him. Your mother should be ashamed!!!

Not only is working out during the holidays an impossible feat a lot of people somehow don’t find all that impossible but you definitely have a holiday hangover and should take the following steps to get back on track! Continue reading Do You Have A Holiday Hangover?

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Fake Natty

fake natty

noun [feyk nat·ee]
1. someone who’s using or has used drugs at some point in their life and is trying to pass themselves off as a lifetime drug-free lifter because drugs don’t make the brain bigger so they have a hard time understanding what “lifetime” means. see also: TEN-DOLLAR WORD

2. your favorite person in the fitness industry. see also: [INSERT NAME HERE]

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