summer
noun [suhm·er]
the season of the year between spring and autumn when the weather is the warmest and you have more than enough self-confidence to wear as little clothing as possible, much to everyone’s delight. see also: 😐
Category: Glossary
Commercial Gym
commercial gym
noun [kum·mur·shul jim]
1. the congregation place of people with shitty lifting form in a local area.
2. one of the extra circles of hell. see also: DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES
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Meal Plan
meal plan
noun [meel plan]
1. an outline of the specific foods and portions that one intends to eat throughout the day…but doesn’t. see also: REBEL
2. that thing put together by a coach for a client who tells them to include whatever they want on it because they’ll eat ANYTHING but then upon receiving it they suddenly aren’t willing to eat ANYTHING and want almost EVERYTHING changed. see also: 🤬
3. something every personal trainer in the world has been asked by someone who’s not a client to create for them for free because trainers are running a charity like the accountants, doctors, mechanics, high class escorts, and other professionals they demand free services from too. see also: FYPM
4. what every fit looking person has been asked by a not so fit looking person to create for them like they don’t know that it’ll be a waste of time to do so because the person asking has no intention of following through, just like the countless many that have asked the same question before. see also: LIFE LESSONS
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Plank
plank
noun [plangk]
1. an exercise that’s part of many 30-day challenges because you’re stupid enough to believe holding the trunk of your body off the ground in a straight line for a few minutes a day over the course of a calendar month is enough to get you ripped abs.
2. the exercise version of that chick whose number you get and start exchanging dirty texts with about what you’re going to do to each other in bed, and then when you finally go out she doesn’t sleep with you the first night…or second…or third…or fourth — in other words, THE EXERCISE LOOKS EASIER THAN IT IS!!! see also: ARGHHHH
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Yoga
yoga
noun [yoh·guh]
an ancient spiritual practice with Hindu roots that’s been reduced to a trendy type of exercise performed in a prohibitively priced class in a boutique studio or at a luxury retreat by well-off Westerners who are not Hindu, making it a perfect example of capitalism, cultural appropriation, and the continued legacy of colonization. see also: FACTS
