noun [jan·yoo·er·ee]
1. a month in the Julian and Gregorian calendars that’s the ONLY time of the year when all goals can be started. see also: LOGICAL
2. when regular members of a gym have the majority of their monthly fees for the entire year subsidized by people who pay for gym memberships they’ll never use again after a few weeks because they’re still in the Christmas spirit of giving. see also: UNDERAPPRECIATED
noun [dahy·i·ter·ee fat]
a macronutrient made up of fatty acids that’s obtained from animal and plant-based products and bears all responsibility for making you fluffy — not you shoving everything within arm’s reach down your bleeping throat. see also: AUDACITY
noun [trey·ning pahrt·ner]
a person who works out with another person because the act of working out itself isn’t unbearable enough already. see also: VERSCHLIMMBESSERN
noun [cheet meel]
an occasion for eating everything you please as a reward for not eating everything you please; basically, when you treat yourself for following your diet by not following your diet. see also: BRILLIANT
verb [spot]
1. to provide assistance in the performance of an exercise while telling the lifter that it’s all them when in fact it’s not all them because you’re getting more of a workout moving the waaaayyyyy tooooooooo heavy weight for them than they are. see also: BENCH PRESS
noun [spot]
2. the only acceptable time when a macho, macho man will allow another macho, macho man to tea bag him like during the bench press or ride him from behind like during squats, at least in public. see also: HOMOEROTIC
