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ATP

ATP

abbr [ey·tee·pee]
1. adenosine triphosphate (a nucleotide that’s the main source of energy for many cellular processes, such as the muscle contractions necessary to get off your ass and go do something active, which is shit that you never seem to have the energy for). see also: IRONIC

Example of ATP in a Sentence
It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s just that my ATP, the body’s battery, has a very, very slow charging time!

 

2. otherwise known as the body’s energy currency for a reason that can be explained by comparing the way energy gets stored and transferred in the body to the way money gets deposited and withdrawn from a bank but, luckily for you, won’t be explained that way because that metaphor will fly over your head because your broke ass can’t relate to it. see also: SALARY

Example of ATP in a Sentence
ATP is generated in mitochondria. Yes, the production of ATP, the energy molecule that’s the common component of many reactions, takes place in mitochondria. Ahhhhhhhh, I see the light bulb is going off in your head now as to why mitochondria is called the powerhouse of the cell, which is the ONLY thing you remember from biology class. Well, that is, it’s the only thing you remember other than the abject boredom because that shit was a total snoozefest!

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Active Lifestyle

active lifestyle

noun [ak·tiv lahyf·stahyl]
a way of living that integrates physical activity into daily life so movement is performed throughout the day; important for staying healthy and living longer to spend even more years of your life working to make the ownership class richer thanks to the high cost of living, erosion of private sector unions and traditional pension funds, and dwindling social security payments. see also: TERRIBLE SELLING POINT

Example of active lifestyle in a Sentence
After my doctor ran down some reasons why I need to start living a more active lifestyle, I politely told him to go fuck himself because I’m here for a good, NOT a long, time.

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Abductors

abductors

noun [ab·duhk·ters]
the muscles located in the buttocks and hip that not only allowed you to spread your legs and become the most popular girl in high school and college but are now also helping you as you sleep your way up the corporate ladder. see also: THUMBS UP

Example of abductors in a Sentence
Damn, I don’t know how you pulled that out of your ass but you’re absolutely correct that the hip abductors are the muscle group that’s engaged by this hip abduction machine I’m about to show you how to use!

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Glutes

glutes

noun [gloots]
1. the muscles of the buttocks and popular steroid injection site.

Example of glutes in a Sentence
Don’t worry, man! No one will think anything gay when we go in and exit this gym bathroom stall together. Everyone knows you’re just pinning me in my glutes!

 

2. area of the body that virtually every white woman now wants to make bigger after hundreds of years of Black women being dehumanized for the big butts they naturally possess and don’t have to try and get by pissing away money on bullshit programs some big butt broad with a fat transfer or implants is selling on social media. see also: LIP FILLERS

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