Category: Workouts

By a show of hands, who does cardio?⁣
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If your hand is up, it shouldn’t be because I can’t fucking see it!⁣
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But since your hand is up because you so desperately want it to be known that you perform cardio like someone who gives a fuck about their heart health, then the odds are high that you perform your cardio on a treadmill, which so happens to be the top-selling and most popular piece of exercise equipment in the country.⁣
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Well, here’s a fun fact for ya!⁣ Continue reading Mid-Evil Torcher HIIT Cardio Treadmill Workout

Are you a dude?

Like, a dude with whom a prepubescent girl has more chest development than?

Well, I’m here to tell you that a small chest doesn’t make you any less of a woman, buddy. These are progressive times we’re living in. Self-love and body acceptance, motherfucker!

Buuuuuuttttt if you’re not quite ready to take your seat at the head of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, this muscle building chest workout will most certainly slap some boobage on ya! Continue reading Joocy Melons Muscle Building Chest Workout

Growth of the assets in your investment portfolio is completely out of your hands. That shit is something you can’t force.

So too is the growth of people around you, as you can’t force them to stop behaving like children and instead act like adults.

But know what you can force the growth of? Continue reading QUADDAMNIT!!! High-Volume Leg Workout

Are you looking for delts big enough to shoulder the burden of all the bullshit heaped on them because you’re too much of a pussy to tell people to go somewhere else with their bullshit?

Huh, are you?!?! Continue reading Raisin’ All Kinda Hell Hypertrophy Shoulder Workout

Leg day is already hard enough.

If you’re up for the challenge, make it even harder with this leg workout routine! Continue reading Newborn Giraffe Leg Workout Routine