What Are Some Exercises To Shrink The Waistline?

Q: I’ve seen a video of you working out with your muscles all big and bulging and you glistening in sweat. Maybe upon the 100th time of my viewing it, I was suddenly interrupted by your waist as I was…ummmmmmm…taking care of business. I noticed that it’s very, very tiny. What are some exercises to shrink the waistline? Thanks! Oh, and post more workout videos on Instagram. They make for very good…ummmmmmm…instructional material. Yeah, that’s it, instructional material!

A: Thanks for finding me worthy masturbatory material, which is what the fuck you’re getting at but are too ladylike to say — even though you and I, and him, and that guy over there, and every player on the football team from your high school and college days all know you’re not a fucking lady!!!

Now, as for how to get your waist smaller. You’ll be happy to know that I’ve spent countless days and hours compiling a list of exercises that’ll help you lose inches off your tummy.

Interested?

Of course you’re interested!

Fuck, you’re the one who asked the question and wants to know if there are any exercises to shrink the waistline!

Well, the list of tummy slimming exercises that took me countless days and hours to put together doesn’t actually exist, much like the asked for exercises.

See, there’s no exercise that can do what you asked for because trimming the midsection, and any other body part, comes down to nutrition and stripping the area of fat, which the body loses all over with the desired area losing it faster or slower than other areas. This is all to say that you can’t spot reduce (i.e. target a specific area to lose fat in it).

With that said, there are things that can be done to make the waist appear smaller once the body fat has been reduced. Those things include making the shoulders broader, widening the lats, and, in your case as a broad, increasing the size of the glutes (primarily the gluteus medius), all of which helps create the illusion of a tapered waist.

…but that’s assuming that you’re not built like a refrigerator. If you have such crappy genetics that you are, then there’s really nothing that can be done to overcome your blocky build. In that case, YOU’RE FUCKED!!!

Any more wackadoo questions?

Email me or ask me on Instagram!

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Monster Longe

Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.

What Are Some Exercises To Shrink The Waistline?

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