How Do You Say “No” To Food Pushers?
Q: People are constantly offering me food while knowing that I’m trying to lose weight. It appears they’re not taking my current attempt seriously despite me saying this time is different from each of the previous times I’ve said the same shit about things being different. While the completely unfounded lack of faith in me that’s shared by people is a problem, what’s even more pressing are the extra calories that are fucking up my progress from when I cave in and accept food to please them. So yeah, how do I deal with that?
A: Whether you avoid a certain type of food on moral grounds, don’t eat it for medical reasons, or are particularly mindful of it because you have nutritional goals, there are people who try to undermine your dietary choices by getting you to eat foods that don’t align with your preferences. Spouses, parents, in-laws, grandparents, friends, and coworkers are the most common examples of people who engage in this behavior and it sounds like you have a couple of them on your hands.
People who are known as “food pushers” exert subtle pressure on others to eat things they want to stay away from for a variety of reasons. For some, the sharing of food is an act of hospitality or how they show affection. For others, the behavior can be borne out of ignorance that results in them minimizing the importance of your choices or, worse, it’s done from a place of utter disrespect and a desire for conformity. Whatever the basis for their motivation, it doesn’t matter, as it still has the same effect of creating an obstacle that you have to face to comply with your considerations.
When trying to lose weight, food pushers can be especially problematic because their insistence on eating indulgent foods can sabotage your efforts to reduce your calorie intake. So how do you deal with them? It’s easy, actually!
The next time someone offers you food that you don’t want, you can turn it down outright without an explanation because you don’t owe anybody one, never mind the fact that giving an excuse opens the door for an argument against your decision. If you’re not strong enough to simply decline because you’re a people-pleaser or are afraid of an awkward situation, then what you can do is use a stall tactic, such as telling the food pusher that you’ll have some of the item later and then hope they forget about it. Another way to avoid the discomfort of saying no is to take the food but give it to someone else or throw it away behind the person’s back.
How you handle a one-off encounter with a food pusher is by turning them down indirectly or using the most powerful word in the English language. But in the event that pushing food on you is something that a person does regularly every time you’re around, then it might be in your interest to be confrontational and communicate your boundaries in a firm and confident manner that doesn’t involve overexplaining or apologizing and doesn’t give any room for discussion or negotiation. If that doesn’t work and the person still persists, then limit your interactions to avoid them.
Those who are close to you can try to influence you to eat food that you’re avoidant of. But as demonstrated, that can be managed with relative ease. On account of this, you might want to count your blessings if food pushers are the biggest of your problems because things could be much, much worse. For instance, you could have people in your life trying to push CrossFit, MLM schemes, and alt-right talking points onto you, any of which could make you question their intelligence and have to rethink your entire relationship with them. Yeah, count your blessings indeed!
Now, does anyone else have a fitness or nutrition question of their own that they want to ask?
Glossary: calories, CrossFit, fitness, food, nutrition
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