What (Not) To Do On Monday

Monday is International Chest Day for good reason. But there's even gooder reason why you should do any other body part but chest.

Somewhere in the galaxy, some intelligent life form is at the gym during rush hour and taking note that the squat rack and virtually every other station is free…

…except for equipment that has to do with the chest.

As far as that life form’s eyes can see, most, if not all, of the chest equipment is occupied by male members of the species.

It must be the beginning of the week.

Here on earth, that means it’s Monday.

Who the fuck am I, Patrick Jane or somethin’?

I should probably be flattered with the comparison, but to think that a mere mortal (even one who’s fictional) burns a candle to me is somewhat insulting because, after all, I AM OMNISCIENT!!!

With that said, however, it doesn’t take that sort of all-knowing power to figure out what day it is once you’ve been going to the gym long enough.

It’s almost like it’s encoded in the computer simulation that is our reality that Monday is chest day.

Well, I’m here to tell you that life as we know it won’t fall apart if you train chest on any other day. And who the fuck would know that better than me, someone who’s omniscient?!

But why does the bench press seem to have this magnetic pull?

Sure, the bench press and other chest stations are usually full of gym bros every day of the week, but why more so on Monday?

For many people (i.e. males), chest is their favorite body part. Not only is it visible to others, but it’s visible to them in the mirror, unlike the legs which are usually covered and the back which they can’t see with their own eyes. All, including themselves, can observe the fruits of their labor when it comes to the chest (one of the “mirror muscles” along with the biceps, delts and abs).

And what others can see by way of a barrel chest is a lot, as big pecs are thought to be desirable by females (in addition to money, a fancy car, and easily contestable prenup) and a display of formidability to other males as a clear sign of upper body strength.

It’s for these reasons that a lot of guys spend an inordinate amount of time training their chest, with the overtraining festivities usually beginning on Monday.

Why Monday?

Simply because they’re fresh.

They’ve just had two days off from work and the gym to rest. They also have energy to put their all into hitting their favorite body part thanks to the shitload of excess calories coursing through them from what’s more often than not just two days of total gluttony. Moreover, the work week hasn’t beaten them into a bloody pulp yet and zapped them of their drive and motivation.

But considering that the chest is a very small muscle group, the increased energy and sky high motivation at the start of the week are why a much larger muscle group like the legs or back should be trained on Monday, when you can give those hard to develop body parts the attention they need so they grow in proportion to the rest of your body and you don’t end up looking like so much of a dingus.

But really, who the fuck wants to be well-proportioned?

Know a bro? Share this with him! Sure, it might not stop him from being a total bro, but it’ll certainly stop him from being so much of one!

Subscribe by email to monsterlonge.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *