Why You Should Rerack Your Weights
Sure, you probably have signs all over your gym saying “rerack your weights”, “put your weights back”, “put your weights away”, or something of the sort. Regardless what the verbiage is, the message is clear that the gym wants its gym members to return equipment to where it was found.
You, however, routinely fail to comply with these instructions.
That’s a grave mistake!
See, you might be getting away with what you’re (not) doing right now, but those signs are there for a reason. And that reason isn’t only for a clean facility but to also protect you.
Protect me?!
From what?!?!
Let’s find out…
So you don’t rerack your weights because I and others are supposed to be impressed at your uncanny ability to load the leg press machine with every 45-pound plate in the facility and then crank out “reps” with your knees barely even bending.
Sorry, but we’re not.
Know what else doesn’t dazzle us?
Yeah, the manner in which you grab the heaviest dumbbells and perform three sets of one struggle rep between 15 minutes of rest.
Believe you me, neither are we bowled over with how the bar bends from all the weight you have on it as you then do some cacamamie thing that you call a squat, deadlift, bench press, or whatever your imagination allows.
We can all see that you’re special in the very special sense of the word. But despite your specialness, there’s no reason in the world for you to walk away from a station with your dumbbells still on the floor or weight still loaded on a piece of equipment as if the dumbbells and plates were an undying monument to your physical strength.
Not all of us are as strong as you, oh mighty one.
So please, rerack your weights, like the sign says you should.
And even if we are as strong as you, which is unfathomable because there’s no one on this planet even approaching your strength levels, that doesn’t mean that we want to start the exercise using the weight you just used.
So please, rerack your weights, like the sign says you should.
But what if you don’t wanna?
Like, what if leaving your weight for everyone to behold your strength is how you compensate for your baby thumb of a penis?!
Like, what if returning weight back to its proper place is beneath you because you’re of royal stock and us mere mortals are only on this earth to meet your every beck and call, such as picking up after you because lord forbid you ever lift a finger?!
Like, what if someone else putting shit back for you is your “thing,” your métier, the driving force behind you getting out of bed every morning instead of doing us all the favor of dying in your sleep?!
Well, if you just don’t want to act like a decent human being, you could simply rerack your weight to prevent a big galoot such as myself from hurling a dumbbell
at you.
Yeah, brah!
Protecting you from that happening is what the sign telling you to rerack your weights is really there for!!!
Most people think the bigger, stronger guys with good physiques are the ones who leave the floor littered with dumbbells or exit a station with mountains of weight left behind. From my own personal experience, that’s not often the case.
Nope!
The most egregious offenders are usually the unimpressive guys with unimpressive lifting form that makes all the weight they’re using as unimpressive as their bodies.
…
Oh yeah, and women too!
Women are some of the most flagrant violators of not returning used dumbbells and weight plates to the respective rack and weight tree from whence they got them from.
I don’t know what it is but they seem to think that just because they’re not using that much weight that they can just sashay away from a machine or barbell with their shit still on it.
Sorry, boo-boo, but having a vagina doesn’t mean you have the privilege of not having to rerack your weight after you’re done. The rules and bylaws governing gym etiquette apply to you just as much as they do to the penis-born.
I know it’s hard to believe, ladies.
Like, how can your hoo-ha not grant you special treatment in the gym when it does in all kinds of arenas and situations?!
So why should women rerack their weights, like the sign says they should?
Ummmmm…because a big galoot like me who’s all about gender equality will get a female to hurl a dumbbells at you for me!
Considering that you only come to the gym for the workout selfies, keeping a 10-pound free weight from smacking you upside the head and making your face unselfiable should be all the incentive in the world to clean up after yourself.
Now shouldn’t it?!?!
Thought so!
So put your weights away, like the sign says you should!!!
Now, because I recognize that putting your weights back is a foreign concept to you, here are some tips to help you do something that you don’t know how to do.
• Dumbbells are usually placed on the rack from left to right in ascending order from the lightest to the heaviest. Also, there’s almost always a sticker or some other kind of placard indicating exactly what pair of dumbbells belong where. So if the sticker says 35, then it might be a bad idea to place a set of 10 lbs dumbbells there but a good idea to place the 35 lbs pair.
• Fixed weight straight barbells and EZ curl bars are usually stacked from top to bottom, from the lightest to the heaviest. Also, there’s almost always something indicating exactly what weight belongs on what rung of the rack. So if the sticker or whatever says 60, then it might be a bad idea to place a 25 lbs barbell there but a good idea to place the 60 lbs one.
• Unload barbells evenly from both sides when it’s on a squat rack, bench press, or other elevated position! If you don’t and, for example, remove 3 45 lbs plates from one side but leave 3 45 lbs plates on the other side, the barbell is going to tip over and possibly make yours or somebody else’s face unselfiable.
• If you’re doing deadlifts and your gym doesn’t have a bar jack to help raise the barbell so you can easily slide the weights off, what you do is take all the plates off one side first. Once all the weight is removed, grab the end of the barbell on the side that you took all the weight off from and then lift it up from the ground until it’s vertical. Now, with the barbell standing upright, pick it up and all the remaining weight that was on the other end of the bar will be flat on the ground and easier to collect.
• Always use two hands when removing and carrying a weight around to reduce the risk of dropping it.
• To protect your toes just in case your mind wanders off thinking about the things you’d do to the fit babe walking by as you’re stripping equipment or racking a weight, be sure to position your feet wide rather than close together so your little piggies aren’t in as much danger if you drop the weight, perv!
Glossary: barbell, bench press, deadlift, dumbbell, exercise, gym, gym member, leg press, lifting form, physique, squat, squat rack