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Social Media Likes

Oh, you want to know what I'm training for? Social media likes, motherfucker! — Shit Monster Says

Oh, you want to know what I'm training for? Social media likes, motherfucker! — Shit Monster Says

Open up your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever social media app you use.

I’ll put money up that one of the first posts that pops up on your timeline is a fitness pic or vid with an accompanying struggle caption of barely literate jibberish.

How do I know what’s flooding your timeline?

Because that’s what’s flooding everybody’s timeline!

And why is it flooding everybody’s timeline?

Because everybody is a whore!

Yes, research suggests that people who post their fitness achievements — like gym selfies, before and after transformations, and stuff about their diet and workout routines — do so for attention-whoring purposes.

Yes, it’s about self-obsession, if you want to use less clinical terms!

Apparently, it’s narcissistic to post selfies of your truly unremarkable body and videos of your even more unremarkable workouts as a means of tracking progress when progress can very well be tracked by way of those photos and vids remaining on your phone for your eyes only instead of being uploaded for all the world to see.

Go figure!

And apparently, it reeks of self-importance to post shit about your fitness journey with the express purpose of motivating others, as if you have the power to decree what people will find motivational, with that source of motivation being you, of course.

Fuck, who’da thunk that people who post nothing but fitness content starring themselves would have deep psychological problems?!

Like, I mean, except the people who post the crap?!?!


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Monster Longe
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