noun [skwot rak]
the place in the gym to test your badassery — if you perform barbell curls in it without anyone telling you to fuck off, then you’re pretty big and not worth fighting; if, however, you perform curls in it and someone tells you to fuck off, then take it as a sign to fuck off before getting fucked up. see also: COJONES
Someone has faith in your talents and abilities.
In fact, they have a little too much!
What could possibly go wrong with someone believing in you?
Like, what’s the harm in that?! Continue reading Overestimate Me
noun [feb·ju·er·i]
when 80 percent of people quit their New Year’s resolutions after all the holiday alcohol finally clears their system, which was responsible for getting them far too ahead of themselves with their wild delusions of giving a fuck. see also: SOON
So it’s the first Thursday of February, huh?
Well, here’s a fun fact for you:
80 percent of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February, with the first Thursday of the month (today) being when the number of fast-food visits meets the downturn in gym check-ins.
If your gym has been anything like mine since the first of January, then it’s been crowded. Having new people come in with big dreams is a good thing that I should be going happy happy joy joy about as a personal trainer. I should also be doing the happy dance that I can crush these people’s dreams when they realize we’re on completely different planets that very few of them will ever reach. But alas, I find no solace in either situation!
Why?
Because all of these wishy-washy motherfuckers have kind of fucked up my ability to find parking for the last month!!!
Well, today marks the beginning of everything changing.
*Birdman hand rub*
noun [bahy·seps]
1. a word for a two-headed muscle in the back of the thigh but is primarily used in reference to the only muscles of the human body that matter, motherfucker — that being the large muscles in the front of the upper arm, which are to be trained every day and preferably in the squat rack. see also: DOM MAZZETTI
2. something else on your body that’s pathetically small that you wish were bigger than what you’re endowed with. see also: PENIS
