noun [pey·shuns]
a person’s ability to start a diet or exercise program and wait a week to lose a bajillion pounds or gain fuckloads of muscle before going ape shit and/or quitting because what they’re doing clearly isn’t working. see also: NOW
Can we have a heart-to-heart?
Whether you say yes or no doesn’t matter because I’m not really asking your permission!
Take it how you wanna, but most of you (especially YOU) aren’t built for this shit.
This exercise thing is a trend right now.
Everyone is doing it, including you.
<finger pointing at you>YEAH, YOU!!!</finger pointing at you>
Oh, but you’re different!
If fitness weren’t the in-thing to do, you’d still be doing it, huh?
Say yes all you want, but you’re a poseur. Continue reading Life Is Tough
noun [suhp·luh·ment]
1. an often overpriced dietary product that’s expected to transform your body or improve your health with little effort of your own apart from swallowing and selling your time for money at a soul-crushing job for the funds necessary to afford it. see also: ABRACADABRA
2. irrefutable proof that you’re not as immune to marketing despite your protestations to the contrary.
3. a nonessential good that some of your discretionary income might go towards buying, thus placing it among iced coffee, avocado toast, and other small, regular purchases that Baby Boomers say is why Millennials will never afford to buy a house — as opposed to the systemic inequality they’ve deliberately engineered by way of the economic policies and business decisions they’ve controlled that now make it impossible to enjoy many of the advantages they’ve benefited from. see also: GERONTICIDE
verb [suhp·luh·ment]
4. to add something to an existing item or situation to make it better, which describes what your partner is trying to do by way of their constant asking of permission to invite a third person into the bedroom with you two.
Oh, you think I’m here to talk, like this is social hour and I give a fuck about the news and what’s going on in the world?
The latest movie you saw to temporarily escape from your sad sack of a life?
How your boss is riding you so hard that you know how Alayah Sashu felt in that infamous scene that led to her…ummmmmm…”retirement”?
Nah, motherfucker! Continue reading Resting Gym Face
noun [wuhn·rep maks]
1. the heaviest amount of weight an exercise can be performed with for a single, measly repetition because doing something once is waaaayyyyy more impressive than doing it multiple times. see also: POWERLIFTER
2. a number that no one on the planet or in the nearest solar system gives a fuck about other than you. see also: OUCH
