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Squats

squats

noun [skwots]
1. one of three exercises in addition to bench press and deadlifts that can sum up the merit of your training program based on whether or not it’s included because no one — ABSOLUTELY NO ONE!!! — can get freakishly big and strong without it. see also: WRONG

2. the exercise movement that you do in the gym that people who look much, much worse than you feel overly qualified to offer unsolicited advice about. see also: BUTTINSKY

3. must be performed on the Smith Machine with a squat pad on the bar while wearing a headband, exercise gloves, a weightlifting belt, and knee sleeves. see also: BADASS

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Possibilities

The possibilities are limited — Shit Monster Says

The possibilities are limited — Shit Monster Says

Familiar with the phrase that there are endless possibilities?

With goals, for example, it means that there are a bazillion ways to get from point A to point B. So one plan failing doesn’t mean the second or six millionth will. It’s up to you to keep coming up with different plans of attack and executing them.

In that case, whatever we want to be or do is limited only by the depth of our imaginations.

And that’s the problem, especially for someone like you. Continue reading Possibilities

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Cheat

cheat

verb [cheet]
1. to make an exercise easier than it should be by violently contorting the body in all kinds of fucked up ways as a means of moving a far too heavy load, all because the object is to move the weight from point A to B as many times as possible, not to…ummmm…work the muscle. see also: MARRIAGE

2. to eat something, usually garbage, that isn’t on your meal plan or part of your diet because eating what you’re supposed to eat when trying to lose weight doesn’t make as much sense as eating the shit that’s responsible for your weight gain in the first place. see also: EVERY DAY PAST 5 PM

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December

December

noun [dih·sem·ber]
the twelfth and final month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian calendars, making it the most perfect time to start working on the goals that were set out for the year but were held off the previous eleven months it would have taken to complete them. see also: FUCKED

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