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Not So Fast!!!

Not So Fast!!!

Someone posted a video about fasting on a message board that I frequent. The basic gist of the video was that fasting works for weight loss, NOT eating less. The video resulted in a spate of people commenting in agreement with the efficacy of fasting and idiocy of calorie restriction.

The idea that weight loss isn’t about calories in-calories out (CICO) is something that’s been gaining traction throughout the years with the popularity of fasting in general and intermittent fasting in particular. The weight loss success stories of many fasters who weren’t as successful when it came to counting calories are mainly why there’s now this growing idea that weight loss is all about fasting and has nothing to do with calorie intake.

That’s wrong.

Having to enter a calorie deficit to lose weight is an irrefutable fact. It’s the first law of thermodynamics, which governs the use of energy. Because calories are nothing but units of energy, the law also governs them as well.

With that said, however, a calorie deficit is not the sole arbiter of weight loss. Hormones and gut flora, for example, also play a significant role in weight management. But a negative energy balance (i.e. calorie deficit) is central to weight loss, for nothing will happen if, for example, your thyroid is properly functioning to produce T3 and T4 hormones but your calorie intake is placing you in a positive energy balance.

Those who are intermittent fasting and finding success with that eating approach are doing so mainly because, unbeknownst to them, they’re in a caloric deficit, as they’re taking in less calories than they normally would due to the limited eating opportunities.1Research shows that people eat 300 to 500 fewer calories per day when they restrict themselves to an 8-hour window even though they’re not intentionally doing so by calorie counting.

That’s not arguable.


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Monster Longe
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Bodybuilding

bodybuilding

noun [bod·ee·bil·ding]
1. what a shitload of folks are unknowingly doing every time they lift weights with the intention of changing their physique.

2. an activity that mostly broke people are relegated to improving their appearance with due to not having the right amount of money that would compensate for their looks and make them attractive to individuals who would otherwise have nothing to do with them.

3. a discipline that’s said to be a sport by many of its adherents who don’t seem to be aware that such a stance doesn’t help disprove the notion of bodybuilders being idiots.

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Zumba

Zumba

noun [zoom·buh]
1. a group fitness class consisting of choreographed dance movements to Latin American music, such as salsa, merengue, and waaaaayyyyyy more Pitbull songs than any human should have to endure in one hour. see also: PERSONAL HELL

Example of Zumba in a Sentence
I probably need to work on my communication skills because every time my girl asks me to go to another Zumba class with her, I say “NO!!!”, which now has her thinking I’m some kinda bigot who has a thing against Spanish people when the issue is with just one Miami street rapper turned global brand ambassador!

 

2. the cooler version of Jazzercise that was created by a South American and serves as just another reminder of how boring life would be without people of melanated skin. see also: THANKS

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Traps

traps

noun [træps]
1. the cool name for “trapezius”, this is a large superficial muscle that extends from behind the skull to the middle of the back and is mainly developed by performing very exciting rack pulls and shoulder shrugs to the delight of social media followers who really, really want to see videos of that shit. see also: CALF RAISES

Example of Traps in a Sentence
On Instagram, there’s nothing I enjoy viewing more than people working out their traps — except, of course, the even more riveting content of people walking up to the squat rack or deadlift platform and going through their entire 10-minute pre-lift ritual before lifting the weight instead of just editing the video so it’s right to the fucking action!

 

2. another muscle group in addition to the chest, arms, and anything other than the glutes that women should avoid training because EWWWWWWW!!! see also: 🤮

3. a muscle group that women avoid training for fear of looking too manly but they should develop to help them better lug around their heavy purse, schlep bags full of groceries, tote toddlers, and other things broads find themselves carrying around other than the weight of civilization like us men have to do.

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Dumbbell Rack

dumbbell rack

noun [duhm·bel rak]
a piece of equipment where you get dumbbells from and perform exercises directly in front of instead of using your fucking brain to grab the desired weight and then step back a couple hundred thousand feet so people are free to also grab weight without having to wait for you to finish being in the fucking way. see also: IQ TEST

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