How To Keep New Year’s Resolutions

Made one or two New Year’s fitness resolutions?

As a matter of fact, your resolution doesn’t even have to be fitness-based.

All that matters is if you made a resolution or not.

Did you?⁣

Of course you did!⁣

And now you’re wondering how the hell you’re going to stick with it and see it through when research suggests that 80 percent of people who make resolutions will fail by the second week of February, with 22 percent ditching theirs just six days into the new year?⁣

Yeah, of course you’re wondering that!

Well, that’s where I come in to tell you that if your resolution is routine-centric, like meditating more or going to the gym, then you might want to try the following. Continue reading How To Keep New Year’s Resolutions

Why You Should Get Enough Sleep

You’re #teamnosleep, huh?

So you’re always on the grind and don’t have the time to do that shit that poor people do, which is to rest, huh?¹The reason why you stay up late every night has nothing to do with you trying to be a super-duper entrepreneur. Instead, you’re spending the midnight hours doing dumb shit like watching TV or stalking your ex who was smart enough to break things off with you. My humble apologies for trying to paint you in a better light here!

Well, that’s why you’re fat!

…and ugly, too.

Nah, your genes are why you’re ugly and no amount of sleep will help you in that department!

But your weight? Continue reading Why You Should Get Enough Sleep

Why You’re Still Hungry Even After Eating

When you’re hungry, your stomach might growl. Or you might experience headaches. Or feel lightheaded.¹Oh, and when you’re hungry, you might also become a total dick to everyone around you, as accurately described in a series of Snickers commercials beginning in 2010.

To stop any of those things from continuing to happen, you’re supposed to eat, right?

Right!

So then, ummmmmmm, WHY IS IT THAT YOU JUST ATE BUT ARE ALREADY HUNGRY AND EXPERIENCING THOSE THINGS AGAIN?!?!

Good question!

There are many reasons why you might still be hungry even after eating. The most obvious is that your calorie intake is too low to supply your energy needs. As for other explanations that aren’t so “DUH!!!”, looka here…

Other Explanations:

What do all those things have in common? Continue reading Why You’re Still Hungry Even After Eating

Are Breakfast Cereals Healthy?

Wanna hear a scary story?

Huh, do ya?!

*cue spooky music*

Half of Americans eat cereal for breakfast every day, coming out to a total of about 160 bowls per year. That means there’s a 50 percent chance that you’re one of those people.

Now, since I’m 100 percent right that you’re one of those cereal eating motherfuckers, how healthy is that breakfast cereal that I’m 100 percent right that you eat?

Considering that the ads for cereal and the cereal boxes themselves say that breakfast cereal is nutritious, asking about the healthiness of breakfast cereal is a pretty stupid fucking question. Yeah, it’s a pretty stupid fucking question because cereal manufacturers have no reason to lie about how healthy their products are.

Or do they?!?!¹*cue dramatic sound effect*

Dun dun DUNNNNN!!! Continue reading Are Breakfast Cereals Healthy?

What To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers

Thanksgiving is over and after spending the day eating more than you normally do, there’s a lot of delicious green bean casserole and other food left.

You know you can’t eat like every day is Thanksgiving, so what are you to do with all the delicious green bean casserole and other leftover food?¹Yeah, the shitload of food you cooked and now have left over after inviting all your friends, family, and coworkers to your place for dinner and absolutely no one showing up!

You’re right.

You certainly can’t pig out ‘til the leftovers are gone because while one day of indulgence isn’t going to do anything to you, eating freely like that is a good way to welcome weight gain into your life.

So what to do?!

Hmmmm… Continue reading What To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers