Why You’re Addicted To Donuts

Some of us are on a first-name basis with weed, coke, booze, and other substances. They have a hold on us and won’t let go!

But not you.

Nope, not you!!!

You’ve been grinding hard on your diet for a month, a week, a day, and temptation is calling you…

…in the form of a donut.

Yes, you’re a donut junkie!

In fact, you’re a donut junkie who, if need be, is willing to whore out their orifices to get their mouth on what’s often the pastry equivalent of one.¹Feel comforted by the fact that you’re not alone. Everyone likes donuts! Fuck, what’s not to like about donuts when you can practice your rimming skills on the ones with holes and the cream-filled ones bust all kinds of gooey goodness in your mouth?!?!

The problem with giving into your donut whoredom when a craving strikes is that one donut often turns into an entire dozen and then — BOOM!!! — you’re suddenly fat again. That sure would be a waste of grinding hard on your diet for a month, a week, a day.

So what are you to do?

Well, after recognizing that you have a problem and admitting it, one of the important steps to solving the problem is figuring out why it exists.

So let’s do that! Continue reading Why You’re Addicted To Donuts

Coffee Before The Gym: 5 Benefits

Before you blow your next paycheck on supplements to power you through your workout, you might want to take a look in your kitchen first.

Sure, it’s not exactly a pretty sight with the stack of dirty dishes in the sink, filthy countertops, and roaches all over the place, but look past that, primarily in the cupboard.

What do you see?

You see more roaches, of course!

Those buggers are EVERYWHERE!!!

But know what else you see?

Yeah, a can of coffee.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s empty and you just haven’t gotten around to throwing it away yet, but let’s say there’s actually coffee in there. Here’s why you should make some before your next workout! Continue reading Coffee Before The Gym: 5 Benefits

What You Can Learn From Papa John

Who remembers when John Schnatter of Papa John’s Pizza fame started trending in 2019 for saying he had over 40 pizzas in 30 days?

Yup, it was during an interview with WDRB News about his resignation from the company he founded and was CEO of after a series of controversies, one of which involved the use of a racial slur on a conference call!¹ Fuck, you have a damn good memory! Anyway, for what it’s worth, Papa John may have been set up by his former best friend to take over the company. Ooooooooh, drama!

Seeing that you remember the incident like it just happened yesterday, care to know the valuable life lesson that can be learned from it? Continue reading What You Can Learn From Papa John

The Health Benefits Of Jump Roping

Are you a boxer? MMA fighter? Or even a 12-year-old girl with pigtails on the playground at recess time?

Wait, you’re not?!?!

Then why the fuck would you want to jump rope?

Because you’re reading this, you obviously don’t know why you would want to do such a thing. So maybe you should consider these five reasons, some of which will have you jumping for joy.¹Get it? You’ll be jumping for joy with your jump rope. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself! Continue reading The Health Benefits Of Jump Roping

Why on earth would you ever eat a fucking apple?!?!, you ask incredulously.

Good question!⁣⁣⁣

Apples = 🤮

And not only are apples 🤮⁣⁣ because they taste 🤮⁣⁣ but further adding to the 🤮⁣⁣ of apples is that an apple is also the logo of a tech company that (1) makes and sells grossly overpriced and overrated gadgets and (2) has a legion of increasingly annoying cult customers who wrap themselves in the brand identity and do free promotion for the company like they have a vested interest in it when they don’t because they don’t even own shares.⁣

Yeah, talk about 🤮

Considering those things, no one can certainly blame you for not wanting anything to do with shit associated with apples, but here’s the thing… Continue reading Apple Nutrition Facts