noun [step·mil]
a machine with a rotating staircase that gives away women’s oral sex techniques, as their cranking the speed up and using their hands to hold onto the rails lets every guy in the gym know what else they use their hands for. see also: DISAPPOINTMENT
noun [kal·uh s]
a roughening of the skin that’s usually formed when working out without gloves and serves as a sign of having testicles. see also: GENDER-NEUTRAL
noun [mid·nahyt]
when a calorie stops being a calorie and the body no longer metabolizes them like it did at 11:59:59 PM and any time of the day prior. see also: MYTH
noun [nat·ee]
1. the “look how pretentious I am” way of saying you’re a drug-free lifter. see also: NO ONE CARES
2. something people say they are when it’s obvious that they’re not. see also: “I’M NOT RACIST”
noun [chest]
1. what Mondays are reserved for…and Tuesdays…and Wednesdays…and Thursdays…and Fridays…and Saturdays…and Sundays. see also: ROUTINE
2. the part of the body that fat loss has ruined for many men whose female partners have lost weight and they’ve then had to pretend to have always been attracted to for other reasons beyond the physical, like their personality. see also: TRAGEDY
