reps
noun [reps]
short for repetitions, or the number of times you perform an exercise during a set; a series of numbers that personal trainers can never accurately count or they lie about how many more you have to perform before you can rest.
Category: Glossary
Fake Natty
fake natty
noun [feyk nat·ee]
1. someone who’s using or has used drugs at some point in their life and is trying to pass themselves off as a lifetime drug-free lifter because drugs don’t make the brain bigger so they have a hard time understanding what “lifetime” means. see also: TEN-DOLLAR WORD
2. your favorite person in the fitness industry. see also: [INSERT NAME HERE]
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Aerobics
aerobics
noun [ai·roh·biks]
1. what cardio was formerly known as before it was rebranded as something that people still don’t give a fuck about doing. see also: MYSELF INCLUDED
Example of Aerobics in a Sentence
Thanks for the open invitation to join you for some aerobics but I’d never be caught dead — DEAD!!! — doing that shit. So how ’bout we scrap that idea and instead have you participate in a joint cardio session with me. Does that sound like a plan?
2. the form of exercise being performed by an assemblage of badly coiffed people wearing lots and lots of neon rather than the other form of “exercise” you were hoping for when you stumbled upon that old VHS tape in your dead grandfather’s belongings, which you thought would have vintage porn on it. see also: UNDERSTANDABLE
Example of Aerobics in a Sentence
Go ahead and think you’re the shit now with your snazzy gym duds but remember that future generations are going to look back at your choice of gymwear and find your appearance as hilarious as you do photos of your mother or grandmother decked out in a leotard, leg warmers, sweatbands, and big hair for their aerobics class back in the 1980s.
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Hormones
hormones
noun [hawr·mohnz]
compounds produced and secreted by the endocrine system, some of which have an effect on weight and are what you blame for why you can’t lose any…even…though…you’re…still…putting…the…same… amount…of…crap…in…your…mouth…as…you…always…have. see also: *MUNCH*
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Swole
swole
adj [swoll]
a word used by the extremely busy to say that someone is muscular rather than them, you know, having to expend the copious amounts of energy required to say “muscular”, an obviously very long polysyllabic word whose vocalization would take up far too much of the precious time they don’t have. see also: @
Example of Swole in a Sentence
There’s this broad at my gym who’s swoler than all the guys, which I would take as a sign for me to start working out at a better gym if I didn’t think I could come to some kind of arrangement with her where she tosses me around like a rag doll in a seedy motel room in exchange for lots and lots of moolah.
