What’s keeping you from doing or becoming the great thing you were destined to do or become?
My, what a silly question!
The answer is E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E!!!
Everyone’s holding you back!
If it weren’t for them, you’d be [insert whatever] by now.
But instead, your life plans haven’t panned out the way they were supposed to.
And it’s all…thanks…to…them!
I don’t know who the fuck “them” is, but trust me that I’m on your side. Continue reading Holding You Back
When do you rise and shine?
Is it at the ass crack of dawn or some time N-O-T at the ass crack of dawn?
Which is better?
Open up your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever social media app you use.
I’ll put money up that one of the first posts that pops up on your timeline is a fitness pic or vid with an accompanying struggle caption of barely literate jibberish.
How do I know what’s flooding your timeline?
Because that’s what’s flooding everybody’s timeline!
And why is it flooding everybody’s timeline?
Because everybody is a whore! Continue reading Social Media Likes
All those things you hope to do?
Yeah, like exercise more.
And eat healthier.
And be a better parent/partner/son/daughter/friend/human being.
And start putting money away instead of spending it on blow and hookers.
And go back to school to get a degree so you can make your daily bread in a way that’s more fulfilling than masturbating on a webcam in front of strangers for tokens.
Yeah, that stuff!
Know what I have to say? Continue reading So Disappointed
