Why Are You Still Getting Fatter? written in text with cartoon image of an overweight woman on a bathroom scale and three exclamation marks.

Why Are You Eating Healthy And Working Out But Getting Fatter?!?!

Why Are You Eating Healthy And Working Out But Getting Fatter?!?!

Why Are You Still Getting Fatter? written in text with cartoon image of an overweight woman on a bathroom scale and three exclamation marks.

Why are you eating healthy and working out but getting fatter?

Based on the question you just asked me, I take it that you’ve been watching what you eat and taking your ass to the motherfucking gym. However, despite your great sacrifices, the scale isn’t going in the direction you expected it to.

It’s moving up, NOT DOWN!!!

I’m presuming a lot here, but I take it that you know that weight fluctuations are common. So you’re obviously not talking about the rapid weight gain of 2-3 lbs from something high in sodium making you retain more water. Nor are you talking about holding more glycogen in your muscle cells than usual from eating a shitful of carbs.

Instead, I’m being led to believe that you’re talking about you steadily gaining weight over a period of weeks, with you becoming even more of a fat ass than when you began giving a fuck about not being a fat ass.

Hmmmm, indeed.

HOW CAN THIS BE?!?!

 

 

So the question is why are you gaining weight while working out and eating healthy? That’s one hell of a quandary, but let’s see if we can figure it out!

*ahem*

Now, since weight loss, in most instances, is simply a matter of burning more calories than you take in, the reason why you’re gaining weight instead of losing it is because…

…wait for it…

You’re not burning more calories than you take in!

In other words, you’re not in a motherfucking caloric deficit.

A caloric deficit?!, you say.

<facepalming yourself>DUH!!!</facepalming yourself>

I know what you’re thinking.

And what are you thinking?

That you’re like most people in regards to you not being all that physically active outside of the gym. Up to or afterwards, you continuously make choices that result in the expending of less energy, like taking the elevator instead of the stairs. What this translates into is the burning of less total calories.

So what’ll fix ya is climbing the two flights of stairs to your office instead of taking the elevator, huh?

How about N-to the motherfuckin’-O!

Being that physical activity doesn’t account for as much daily calorie burn as is commonly held, you being a lazy toad outside of the gym is not the main cause of you gaining weight despite your Herculean efforts inside it.

The likely culprit is your diet and you not creating large enough of a deficit with it.

 

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Yeah, your problem is your diet.

B-b-but how can it be?!, you say.

Fuck, you eat healthy!!!

And that right there is your motherfucking problem, buddy!

See, although you may be “eating clean”, “eating healthy”, or however the fuck you want to phrase it, all that organic, gluten-free, vegan bullshit that you’re now annoying your friends with isn’t going to do anything for you if you happen to be overeating it. In other words, taking in more calories than you’re burning.

And this overeating thing happens oodles!

Oodles, I tell ya!

For example, people start juicing and drinking a shitload of smoothies. What could possibly go wrong? After all, fruits are good for you! Maybe they are.

…or maybe they’re not when what you’re drinking is nothing more than a sugar bomb with all the mangoes, bananas, apples, and pineapples that you tossed into the blender.

Another example are the people who switch from vegetable oil to coconut oil, the healthier alternative. On top of that, because coconut oil enhances the flavor of ANYTHING, they eat it with rice. Add some to noodles. Throw it in oatmeal. Mix it with protein powder. ANYTHING!!! What could possibly go wrong? Nothing…

…other than coconut oil being a fat and that while eating fat doesn’t make you fat, eating too much of it will!

This is all to say that a calorie doesn’t magically stop being a calorie because it’s from “healthy” food and not from pizza. As delectable as all that organic, gluten-free, vegan bullshit is, it doesn’t give you free license to eat as much of it as you please without ramifications!1And this is to say nothing of the fake healthy foods that people buy into.

Fake healthy foods?

Yeah, the food items with packaging reading: Low Fat, Fat Free, Low Carb, Cholesterol Free, Gluten Free, High Fiber, Whole Grain, All Natural, and every other buzzword that’s associated with eating healthy.

What makes them fake is that although these twice expensive foods may contain less fat or carbs than the regular “unhealthy” version, they have the same calorie counts and more sodium and sugar, usually making them worse alternatives.

But that’s what people do, they stock up on healthy foods and think that’s enough.

It bloody isn’t!

Nope.

What you have to do is calculate your calorie needs so you know exactly how many calories you have to eat to place your body in a deficit.

And you’re still not done!

What you have to do next is weigh and track your food E-V-E-R-Y…M-O-T-H-E-R-F-U-C-K-I-N-G…D-A-Y so you know that you’re eating less than you’re burning.

That’s it.

 

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As we’ve seen, weight gain when exercising and cleaning up your act at the table can be attributed to overeating healthy food under the impression that it can do no bad since it’s good for you.2This includes so-called “healthy” food too if you read footnote #1

Beyond that, people fail to get themselves in a caloric deficit by overeating in another way.

In what’s known as “compensatory behavior”, people often eat MOAR calories after their workout because:

(1) exercising itself makes them hungrier as a result of long, low-intensity exercise leading to lower production of ghrelin — an appetite increasing hormone — or dehydration causing the person to confuse thirst for hunger

OR

(2) they have a nasty habit of overestimating how many calories they actually burned off and then think they have enough wiggle room to reward themselves for their hard work.

So how do you prevent yourself from eating back as much as 11 or more calories for every 10 burned?

Ummmmmm, I don’t know.

Maybe you can do higher intensity workouts, not only increasing ghrelin but also raising the production of the fat-burning hormone T3 while decreasing the stress hormone cortisol, which signals visceral fat storage in the stomach.

Or maybe drink water so the body can better distinguish hunger from thirst.

Or maybe get an activity tracker to take the guesswork out of calculating calorie burn.

Other than that, I have no friggin’ clue!

 

 

Why you’re eating healthy and working out but getting fatter isn’t on the same plane as an ancient mystery.

What it all comes down to is eating too much to achieve the negative energy balance necessary for weight loss.

This just goes to show the importance of nutrition in weight management and that exercise without the appropriate dietary intervention is asking for the banging of your head against a wall.

Glossary: caloric deficit, calories, diet, exercise, gym, hormones, intensity, nutrition, work out, workout


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