When To Stop Chasing A Goal
Quitting is for losers.
…and winners, too!
As much as it’s instilled that one should never give up, there’s nothing wrong with waving the white flag when it’s called for. Sure, you could persevere and ultimately succeed with your objective but you can just as easily continue trying to push through and fail, with that failure then leading to possible issues with your confidence and self-worth.
So when should you stop chasing a goal and call it quits then?
Certainly not at the first sign of an obstacle!
No, the appropriate time to abandon a goal is when the pursuit of it has a negative, NOT positive, effect on your life. Such an instance is when you’re trying to lose weight but the 3 hours you’re at the gym every single day of the week interferes with the time you have with your family.1As has been written on this site in numerous posts and articles, exercise is overrated. Simply stated, exercise isn’t essential enough for weight loss for it to be done with as high of a frequency as most people think they have to do it. That’s an example of the process to achieve your goal not being in alignment with who you are. When that happens, goal abandonment is warranted. So too is when the reward isn’t worth the effort or the risks outweigh the benefit. When a goal has a negative effect, there’s nothing wrong with walking away from that specific goal or how you’re pursuing it.
Yup, absolutely nothing wrong!
Abandoning your goal is only wrong when you give up a valid objective and don’t explore alternative means to achieve it by replacing the old plan with a new one that better fits in accordance with your lifestyle, schedule, values, resources, etc. Returning to our example, the genius spending 3 hours at the gym every single day of the fucking week would quit doing that dumb shit and instead switch their goal to something like working out for 45 minutes 2 to 3 times per week. Such a change would allow them to pursue their goal while also allowing for plenty of family time.
Other times to quit a goal are when it was set to please someone else because it’s what they wanted for you instead of something you want for yourself. In our example, that would be the person losing weight for the express purpose of making their partner happy despite feeling comfortable in their body as they are. Another strong reason to give up is when a goal isn’t important to you anymore because things like your priorities, interests, or circumstances have changed. That would be the case if our example person were to get discovered by a plus-size modeling scout while eating McDonald’s at a mall.2Hey, it happened to Giselle Bündchen! In that situation, their attempt to lose weight for health reasons might take a backseat to the fame and riches that come with normalizing obesity to the delight of the fast food industry. Under these two scenarios, it’s not only alright to wash your hands clean of a goal but to also do so with no reevaluation or revision.
Boxers quit when their corner throws in the towel. So do MMA fighters when they tap out. And poker players when they fold. As we can see, there’s nothing wrong with quitting. But that’s under certain conditions. When the criteria is met for it, quitting is actually reasonable.
Oh, but what about those times when quitting isn’t the right thing to do?
In those instances where the conditions don’t warrant quitting, what might be needed is a break. Once you’ve stepped back for a length of time, you may be able to pick up where you left off with a renewed sense of energy and focus. If, however, you reflect during the break and find that resuming the goal isn’t what you want to do for no other reason than simply not wanting to, then you don’t have to because you ultimately don’t owe an explanation to anyone. As long as you can live with your decision, then it’s the “right” thing to do for you.
Glossary: exercise, goal, gym, priority, work out
